Yesterday’s cell group discussion was about our failures and disappointment living as a Christian. So far, our spiritual records have been more abysmal than encouraging. Many of us experienced unanswered prayers. At times, these prayers were not only left unanswered, it became worse. It was like God heard our prayers for relief and decided, in one divine whim and fancy, to add one more load to our breaking back.
Then, there’s the promise of victory over life’s circumstances. Sitting on the church pews, it appeared a great sell. The preacher was wildly hurling at his congregants one great promise after another. Promises of perpetual health, unceasing wealth, irrepressible joy and anxiety-free living flooded the church tabernacle like the latter day rain. Everybody was empowered, energized and revived. But Sunday victory turned into Monday stalemate with the rest of the week becoming less promising than the day before. Then, one trial comes our way and we become befuddled, confused. Our faith got a fair beating and we become disillusioned. We become discouraged, at times defeated. The struggle goes on day after day and we do not seem to be closer to our spiritual goal of becoming more Christ-like. Some days, we even entertain the thought of giving up, throwing in the towel. Other days, we tell ourselves that we should just drift along with the Sunday Christian crowd, going through the motion, blindly obeying the rituals, and hoping that Christ does not return any time soon.
Our cell group was frank about our yo-yo existence as a Christian. Sometimes we were way up there and got a whiff of God’s presence and saw a wink of approval from Him. At other times, we were way below, licking our own wounded faith, doubting God and resigning to a life of mediocrity. Indeed, being a Christian is real hard work. Grace is definitely not cheap. The Cross is not light. The trials of life are surely raw and real. And hope can be as mischievous as an imp playing hide and seek with us when we need it most. So, what are we to do with our faith? How can we overcome this yo-yo existence? What must we do to get out of this spiritual rut, wandering in our own spiritual wilderness?
It is tempting here to give formulaic, step-by-step, one-size-fit-all answers to how to grow your faith. It is easy to tell you in this letter that you should surrender all to God, trust in Him regardless of your circumstances, and put your hope on the rock of your salvation. It is even easier to turn the finger at your own failings and blame all your spiritual backtracking and doubts on your lack of faith and trust in God. But, I find such exercise futile and at times insulting. I believe that there are countless numbers of Christians out there trying their level best to make faith ends meet. Many are troubled by a premature death in the family. Many are facing stark life choices that are equivalent to a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea. Many are praying for relief or answers but are receiving a deafening silence in return. Does God care? Is God there? Will God be fair?
Earlier I said that grace is not cheap and the Cross is not light. Well, of course, grace is free and salvation is a gift. But living the Christian life is anything but cheap, free and a given. I guess that is why many are called but few will endure to the end. It is at this time that we must ask ourselves this: How do we view God? Who is God to us? I believe that how we see God will determine how far we will go with Him. Is our God a nice God, always smiling, readily generous, and eternally forgiving? Or is our God a God of justice, a God who is wholly sovereign, in control of everything, and whose thoughts are above ours, whose actions are often incomprehensible, and whose promises are surefooted but at times, escape our human expectations? I am sure you can see how such differences in our conception of God will determine how we live our Christian life, how our faith is conditioned, and how we will endure in our Christian walk?
If we believe in a soft, nice, and pushover God, then it won’t take long for us to be disappointed in our Christian walk. It also shows our lack of knowledge about Him. It also turns our so called God into a genie in an Aladdin’s bottle, whose existence is essentially to serve our spiritual needs and material wants. This reminds me of a tale in Hollywood. It tells of a sultry lady performer strutting onto one of the grand stages and dressed in a sexually provocative gown, with little or nothing on. She then told the rowdy, mostly men crowd that she prayed before coming up on stage for God to help her career and she thanked God for answering her prayer. Beloved, this is how lopsided our faith can become when we take God’s goodness for granted and live our Christian life expecting God to be at our beck and call.
Let’s face this truth now: God is not going to grant everything you ask of Him. Let’s not forget that He is our Creator, not our butler or porter. Job learned this the hard and unfortunate way. He lost everything and then gained everything back, all in one short lifetime, with not even an explanatory note tagged to it. In our limited perspective, it seems like God was playing a cruel joke with his life. CS Lewis had his beloved wife taken from him without forewarning and he cried foul play. Many great men and women of God endured untold sufferings, dying young, dying in pain, and dying alone. All Jesus’ disciples shared the same tragic fate and became the seeds of martyrs where the church was founded.
Indeed, God is not nice. He is not a people-pleaser. He is not a livewire of the party, going from table to table, clinking champagne glasses and cheering everyone on. The Bible is clear about God profiling. He is good but not nice. He is cool but not popular. He is a master-planner and not a partisan spin-doctor. He makes thing happen but sometimes not in a way that we’d like it; at times, even contrary to our most benign expectations. He answers to no one. He cannot be measured by any man-made standards. He cannot be reduced into a mathematical formula or captured in a Polaroid photo-shot. Most of all, He is sovereign and in control. And in all these, God knows what He is doing and knows what’s best for us in the long run. Romans 8:28 puts it in its categorical best when it writes, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
It is now up to us to move out of our comfort zone. We should worship God for who He really is and not what we think or hope He should be. God should not be amended to our expectations. Instead we should be amended to His. Let us sharpen ourselves in readiness to do God’s work and not be caught off guarded when God comes calling. Let’s not have any preconceived ideas about God. It is so easy to impose our own man-made logic onto our faith and expect God to conform to it. For example, if God is all loving and all powerful, we would expect Him to eradicate all sufferings. The human logic is to expect no pain, no tears and no more shame. But is this how it works? Is this God’s manner of operation? When we pray for deliverance, we expect God to deliver according to the scripture. But should it be that way? What if this was not how God manages this universe? What if there is more to it than meets the eye?
Of course, I am not saying that God does not answer prayer. We know he does. I am not saying that He does not heal. We know He does. But there’s the other side of the mystery coin. Sometimes, he doesn’t. He seems silent. He even seems distant. And our prayers go unanswered. Our cry, unheeded. Our pain, unresolved.
This is where we are called to draw strength and hope from Romans 8:28. I know this is not a perfect answer. It is not even a good answer when we are so desperate for one to cling on to. But maybe, God doesn’t want to give us a good answer. Maybe a good answer is not what’s best for us. Maybe, a good answer will leave little room for faith, hope and trust and God deems it best that we should continue to trust in Him by withholding a good answer from us. Maybe a good answer comes in a form of an internal assurance to persevere for an eternal reward. If you read how Apostle Paul struggled with the thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), how he prayed thrice for relief and got nothing close to it, you can empathize with the anguish he must have felt over unanswered prayers. But this is just one side of the coin. The other side was God’s assurance in these revelatory words to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
With this assurance, however encrypted and undecipherable to the human mind, Paul accepted his affliction with gladness and went on to do the one thing that defied all human logic, he boasted about his infirmities! In celebratory mood, he shouted these words from the rooftops, “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Imagine, at our regular Saturday’s miracle services, we bounce onto stage and praise God for unhealed ailments, unanswered intercessions and unresolved relationships and expect the audience to applaud together with us! Talk about having logic smashed straight into our face!
I have learned that in the same way that there is joy in answered prayers, there is also joy in unanswered prayers. But the latter joy is more profound, more sublime, more fulfilling because it shows where our faith and heart really is. The ministry of Jesus is partly the ministry of partaking in his sufferings. There is a lot to say about a persistent faith that is bruised by trial fire than one which is inflated by empty adulation and pampered by succeeding wealth.
Indeed, there is a time for everything, a time to born and a time to die, to plant and to pluck; a time to weep and a time to laugh, to mourn and to dance. Sooner or later, our faith will be tested and the time will come for us to brave through it with our faith intact. Will we be ready? Will we overcome? Will we know the time? Let me close with this exemplary words from a martyr of God, Ignatius, “The time make demands on you in the same way a sailor requires wind and as one tossed by the sea requires a safe harbor. Be vigilant as God’s athlete. Stand firm like an anvil under the blow of the hammer. It is the part of the great athlete to receive blows and to conquer. Be yet more diligent than you are. Learn to know the times.”
Have a victorious week ahead. Take good care.
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