Last Friday, we celebrated everyday, ordinary heroes. We had our very own in the cell. We thank Mark and Kwan Hong for pouring their hearts out and inspiring us to do the same. We are touched by their heart felt sharing. Mark, you gave without thought and are a good brother in law and an exemplary Christian. Kudos to Kwan Hong too. You have shown Christ-likeness at your workplace. You've also shown compassion and kindness to those under your charge. You led with a true leader's heart, in humility and loyalty. We've learned a lot from you guys. We are grateful for allowing us to catch a glimpse of God's love in the rough and mundane context of your daily reality. That is why the award of ordinary heroes goes to you guys.
We live in a dual world. Our world is made up of our work and our personal life. We live in a world of senses and faith. One world is public and the other is private. Christians do not usually mix the two worlds together. Testimonies of workplace evangelism are seldom heard. When we work, most Christians leave their Christian values behind and act like typical salaried employees. Everything at work is dictated by hierarchy, rules and quotas. Work performances are usually measured by how we can clinch a deal, market a product, impress our bosses and reach the top.
But Kwan Hong has shown that these two worlds can mix with one taking the lead and the other following. Kwan Hong has demonstrated that the world of faith is bigger than the world of senses. That what is usually private faith can be made public to inspire all. Kwan Hong, you shared how you've led, shielded and comforted your employees to the every day they were axed in a very emotional retrenchment exercise held recently. You do not just say that you care, you show it. You walked your talk and earned the respect of all who had served and worked with you. In fact, you have shown qualities of servant leadership, or what the Bible would call "tower and basin" leadership (just like when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples).
Mark, you made a statement that woke me up. You said, "it is not about the money, it is about relationship". This simple yet powerful statement is the stuff of all self-improvement motto or mantra. I remember I wrote about three kinds of people in this world; the drifters, the copers and the overcomers. Mark, last Friday, you overcame and are still overcoming. Your optimism for life and how all bad events have a God-appointed expiry date inspired me and, I believe, the whole cell to meet the challenges of everyday with courage, faith and boundless hope! Now I have come to understand what it means when they say, "you can see Jesus in the eyes of ordinary people."
I have always wondered what is the true measure of greatness? What makes a hero a hero? What is the meaning of being like Christ? Must we be wealthy, powerful or famous to be considered great, heroic or Christ-like? The answer is of course obvious. At his time, Jesus was neither wealthy, powerful nor famous (until many decades later). Jesus was great because he showed great love. That is, I believe, the true measure of greatness. It is the yardstick of being like Christ. Mother Theresa once said, "Not all of us can do great works, but we can do small works with great love."
I believe that in this drama of life, we have two Acts. The first Act tells of a story of a young man (or woman) setting out from his home to conquer the world with wits, money and fame. The second Act tells of a story of the same young lad realizing that the world is not going to be conquered by wits, money and fame. On the contrary, the world is to be conquered by love, humility and hope. That is why Martin Luther King Jr once said, "everyone can be great because everyone can serve." Where are you now in your drama of life? Act one or act two?
Putting it in another way, everyone can be great because everyone can love. You don't need to be schooled in the art or mystics of love. You don't need to be an apprentice of love before you graduate to be a master of love. There is no such thing as a witch-doctor of love. Love cannot be the sole and exclusive property of any man or woman to be dispensed with only at a price. We are born with a boundless capacity to love because we came to this world from the bosom of someone who loves us unconditionally. We grow in an environment of love. We are nurtured to love. Our life thrives only on being loved and giving love. And our greatest example of love is Jesus, who gave all for nothing in return. Love therefore in its highest form is the hallmark of greatness.
In addition to loving unconditionally, I have learned that ordinary heroes are characterized by three qualities. First, they are secured in God's love. They also draw strength and hope from God's love. They know deep inside that they are deeply loved by God and they don't need to earn it by working at it. Their security is in the knowledge that God loves them unconditionally and not in having more money, power or fame. This is why ordinary heroes do not need approval from anyone. They are able to let go and let God. They don't need to win an argument by proving that they are right. Being right at most times is a private affair to them. This is significant because most couples I know argue for the sake of argument and not for the sake of love. So, allow me to sidetrack.
There was an experiment done on couples' arguing to see how such seemingly contentious exchange could build relationships in some couples and destroy relationships in others. In this experiment, many couples' arguments were videotaped and playback for the experimenters to observe. Their married lives were then monitored and recorded over a long period of time. When the experiment was concluded, the experimenters realized that the arguments between enduringly loving couples and couples who ultimately end up in divorce were apparently similar. There were the usual insults, the bickering, the complaints, the use of foul language and the who-can-be-more-fierce competitions.
But what differentiates them in the end of a long and tiring argument is the conclusion of the argument. The arguments of couples who stay married are usually forward looking and reconciliatory. After a verbal swordfight, loving couple understands each other better and their marriage generally improves. In other words, their arguments makes them love each other more and not less. It is like sunshine after the storm. Things get clearer after a tongue fight. They make every conscious effort thereafter not to step on the same toe again. They are able to love each other better because they understand each other more.
However, couples who argue and end up in divorce are always in a "perpetual storm". There is often no definite conclusion to their argument. They rather let "dead dogs lie". None of them wants to reconcile after a fist-and-tongue fight. They only pay lip-service to the marriage vows and stay married for as long as they could for face sake and not for love sake. With each verbal cudgel, the heart-torn couple festers in hate, deepens the misunderstanding and withdraws from each other. Allowing the status quo to remain, emotional divorce will soon set in long before the once-loving couple ink the divorce papers.
So, do not take your arguments for granted. Not all arguments are bad for the relationship. If tackled well, arguments can build and not tear down a marriage. Just take note of how you end your arguments. Always bring your argument to a reconciliatory end. Remember, don't go to bed without making out with your spouse. And never leave an argument unresolved or hanging. Because you will never know when the next argument may fall on your marriage and wreck it permanently.
Now let's go back to the second quality of an ordinary hero. They are always doing the right thing even when it is popularly wrong. This world has corrupted what is good and diluted what is right. Most of us walk with a log in our eyes and it has clouded our judgment. Sin used to be an outright wrong, period. But now, what is wrong depends on one's interpretations. For example, killing is not wrong when it is done to rid the world of terrorism. Adultery is justified if the other spouse neglects her conjugal duties to her husband. And greed is not wrong if it makes one obscenely rich. Traditional values have lost its high standing in a world where "chastity is dated" and "pride is your best ride".
But ordinary heroes stand their ground. Their feet are on the rock of Christ and not on sinking sand. Their lives are driven and directed by an inner moral compass. They are like sheep who only listen to the shepherd's voice and not the voice of this world or the lusts of their own flesh. Stephen Covey once said, "To do well, you must do good. And to do good, you must first be good." In this world of corrupt values, being good and doing good is usually the exception rather than the rule. But ordinary heroes are "human giraffes". They always stick their necks out to do good because they adhere to Godly principles that never fade through time or culture. To the world, ordinary heroes are called “prudes” and “rigids”. But to God, they are His faithful and fruitful servants. There is a saying that goes like this, "A good life is when you wake up in the morning and go to bed at night and in the middle, you do what is right."
Lastly, ordinary heroes make meaning out of their own sufferings or personal crisis. Going back to our cell, I am reminded of Mark's well-grounded optimism to believe that God always uplifts everything. Mark’s faith in God to deliver him and his family through their financial hard times is no easy feat. Equally courageous was Kwan Hong’s compassion for his subordinates who were laid off. You guys drew strength from God and extracted meaning even in the most dire of circumstances.
I believe there is a death in this life that is worse than suicide. It is the death of hope, meaning and purpose. Life is not a primary quest for pleasure, power or popularity. Life only moves forward with meaning or purpose. We can find meaning even in the worst of times if we just look hard enough for it. Victor E. Frankl tells of a story in his book, Man's Search For Meaning, about an old lady whose eleven year old son just died after a suicide attempt. She was so distraught that she conceived a plan to kill herself. However, she had an older son, who was a cripple from birth, having suffered from infantile paralysis. And she didn't want him to be left alone after her death. So she wanted to die with her son. Just before she could commit the act of suicide, her older son stopped her and cried out that he wanted to live. In fact, her older son loved life! Thereafter, she went for therapy and realized that she was no failure after all. She had managed to bring up a son who treasured life and wished to live to the fullest. This gave her meaning and passion to live on for him.
Beloved, in all our trials, even in the worst of the lot, there is meaning that we can draw strength from. If we look hard enough, we can see it in the eyes of our children, in the blessing of our possessions, in the support of our loved ones and in the hope of a Savior who had gone through it all and has promised that he will carry us through. In Psalms 27:14, it is written "Wait upon the Lord, be of good courage and He will strengthen thine heart, wait upon the Lord." Note that the verse did not say that He will answer our prayers. Or solve our problems. Or take away our pain and sufferings. Instead, it says that it will strengthen our hearts. I believe that by strengthening our hearts, God is granting us the greatest gift of all. It is the gift to overcome any trials that life can throw at us. It is the gift to stand firm in the face of adversity. It is a gift of passion for living that no crisis or bad times can take away or destroy.
So, have a victorious week ahead!
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