Dear Cell, Joel went under the surgical knife this week. The neurosurgeon removed the benign tumor from his left frontal lobe in a 6-hour operation. He is currently in SGH, recuperating. Initially, under the effect of anesthesia, Joel was semi-groggy. His responses were delayed. But on Friday night, before we left the hospital, he cracked a joke and we heaved a sigh of relief – Joel is back!
Cell, I share with you this because you guys have the right to know Joel’s progress. This journey has been very difficult for him and his wife and their 10-month old son. His parents and siblings and loved ones have all cried silent tears for him, including me. I thank you guys for all your support in prayer. Personally, I had prayed real hard for the tumor to be removed by the divine surgeon. This was one miracle I wanted more than anything before Joel was wheeled into the operating room. I prayed, and some of you heard me, that this miracle would be a testimony to all the backsliders and a booster to our faith. I literally poured my heart and soul into this prayer but it did not turn out the way I had hoped.
This is the second reason why I am writing to you guys. I know that I have been writing quite a few letters on apologetics (defending our faith) or theodicy, justifying the existence of God in a world of seemingly inexplicable pain and pointless sufferings. In my quiet time, I once posed this question to God:-
“Why doesn’t God make Himself obvious enough so that it takes much less time to convince the die-hard atheist, the staunch agnostics and the apathetic deists?”
I mean “obvious enough” in several ways. God could easily intervene when pointless sufferings are taking place. He could stop the gang rape of a little twelve year old. He could teleport an elderly woman out of the way of a motley crew of thugs and murderers. He could deflect incoming ballistic missiles heading straight for a school bus full of students singing their way to school. Maybe, God could end birth deformity so that babies would be born with the same equal socioeconomic opportunity as other normal babies. How about showing Himself in the sky, in whatever form, at infrequent intervals, so as to shut the wagging tongues of skeptics? Then, stretching our imagination a weenie bit, God could answer the earnest prayer of a travailing believer from the crutches of imminent death or irreversible physical pain and handicap. Finally, if it is not asking too much, God could make Himself “obvious enough” by occasionally saving innocent lives and punishing deserving evildoers. Only occasionally…
These acts of God would surely make this world more habitable, more meaningful, more encouraging and more explainable. Not to mention that such miraculous acts would be enough to convert at least 98% of the world population to Christianity while leaving only a handful of rebels who still choose to reject God. A world like this would still give individuals the free will to choose. A world like this would still have suffering to strengthen our character but it would not have pointless suffering that give reasons for the skeptics to mock us. A world like this would explain a lot about God and give us a clearer picture of His goodness, mercy and grace. A world like this can’t be that bad, right?
I mean, didn’t the Bible say that God is good, loving and merciful? Didn’t the Bible also say that God is all powerful, the creator of the universe, without whom nothing is ever conceivable, not to mention ever created? So, how does one reconcile an all–loving and all-powerful God with all the pointless sufferings in this world? I understand that pain and suffering are inevitable. Our growth ultimately depends on it. We mature under pressure. I am not advocating that God eliminate all forms of sufferings. But surely not all sufferings are beneficial. Some sufferings, in my view, have no apparent purpose. Raping and then killing a little girl in some remote part of the world would leave no beneficial legacy behind. How about the killing of 6 million Jews and 5 millions non-Jews like gays, gypsy, Poles, Czechs and Christians under the deranged Nazi machination? Lastly, some natural disasters are deeply heart breaking. The East Asia Tsunamis and the Hurricane Katherine floods are but some examples.
So, can any one out there stand in proxy for God to answer the above question? Some have indeed taken the time and courage to stand up and answer the question. One rabbi concludes that may be God is not all that powerful. May be He has His limitations. He created the world and then decided to leave it as it is after the fall of man. Remember that fallen humanity has fallen consequences. An imperfect world brings with it imperfect results. Sickness and diseases abound because of sin and corruption. Men turn against men and nations against nations. War, pillages and genocide are just part of the consequence of sin.
This explanation is rejected by both the theists and the atheists. Believers do not accept the idea that God has limitations. Didn’t God reprove Job by challenging him with these questions, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements – surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it?...Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know its place?...Have the gates of death been revealed to you, or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?...Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth? Declare, if you know all this…”
Atheists rail against this explanation because it is a cop-out. It is just an excuse that Christians cling on to. Saying that God is not all-powerful to explain the existence of pointless sufferings is as good as saying that God does not exist and life, whether we like it or not, is a game of random evolutionary forces that are beyond anyone’s control.
So, going back to Joel, it is difficult to understand why our collective prayers were left unanswered. One can say that all suffering has redemptive value, that is, sometime good always comes out of something bad, even seemingly pointless ones. Romans 8:28 affirms it most elegantly. But by that same token, one can also say that healing Joel miraculously is equally, if not more, purposeful and redemptive than not healing him. Imagine that Joel is healed by our collective prayers. I can picture the scenario. Our faith would definitely rise by leaps and bounds. Joel’s testimony would impact lives. Even unbelievers would have to reassess their atheistic standing in the light of this miracle. The church as a whole would be edified when Joel stands before the crowd and testify. Wouldn’t it be “more good” that Joel is healed than otherwise?
My wife recently asked me, “Why didn’t God heal Joel?” I think this question has been in the minds of all my loved ones after the surgery but none of them wants to bring it up since there are more pressing issues at hand. Further, that question usually begs more questions with no apparent answers and it is therefore better to just move forward with faith than to mope backward in doubt.
So, this is the part of my letter that skeptics are dying to hear: I have no answer. But my qualification is this: saying that I have no answers doesn’t mean that I have no hope. For it is written, “let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23). Life’s mysteries will always remain as life’s mysteries. There are things most unfathomable even to the best minds of this world. To this day, no intellectual giant can even agree on the definition of life. Some say that it is all about reproduction. Some say it is metabolism. Some argue that it is DNA; others say it is RNA. Still others throw up their hands and subscribe to quirky alien theories to explain life and its origin. Francis Crick, the Nobel Prize winner and co-founder of the double-helix DNA, once wrote, “The plain fact is that the time available was too long, the many micro-environments on the earth’s surface too diverse, the various chemical possibilities too numerous and our own knowledge and imagination too feeble to allow us to be able to unravel exactly how it might or might not have happened such a long time ago…”
And the plain fact for me is this: I have come to a point in my faith to accept the fact that it takes more faith to disbelieve God. I cannot imagine that the world just decided to come into being out of cold, unfeeling nothingness. It therefore takes far more imagination to believe what the atheists believe. I choose to see life as a journey and all the trials that come my way as life’s coaches sent by God to point me in the right direction. For it is said, “Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers: grow, grow.” God whispers to me in my doubts, my trials and my pain. In all of life’s circumstances, God is telling me to grow, to move on, to mature. It may not be the best answer but, like a coach who pushes his trainees to breaking point, it is one answer that leads to great results. CS Lewis once wrote, “They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.”
So, my hope is forward looking. I choose to see the good that unfolds after a trial or suffering. I believe that my disappointments are only temporal. In the end, there is a justification for everything and God will sit me down to explain it all to me. This is not wishful thinking; it is faithful believing. And this faith is based on a hope that is rooted in His reality, His promises and His timing. For in Psalms 39:6-7, it is written, “Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain: he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it. But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”
Press on, good Christian soldiers!
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