Do you know who gave Jesus 5 barley loaves and 2 small fishes to feed 5 thousand? In John 6:9, we are told that a lad sacrificed his family lunch for a mass picnic. The lad should be no more than 9 years old. It appeared that he was the only one who attended Jesus' mass rally with food. Nobody knew for sure why he had brought food for that day. One clue was that the people were celebrating the Passover feast and the little boy might be preparing for the feast with the bread and fishes.
The bible tells us little about the little boy whose basket of bread and fishes kept thousands from going hungry that day. One thing's for sure...the boy had never expected that Jesus would ask him for all that he had that day so that he could perform a miracle of great dietary proportion. It is no easy task to sit everyone down on a deserted mountain top with nothing to show but a basket of 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes. I estimate that the tiny basket was only enough for a family of 5 - provided they were not too hungry. But Jesus promised them that it was more than enough to feed all - all 5 thousand of them! A promise no right thinking and rational person would give to 5 thousand hungry, and possibly rowdy, mob.
From a secular and practical point of view, Jesus could have taken the opportunity to ask the multitude of 5 thousand to fast for that afternoon. He could have told them what he would be telling them at John 6:27, "Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you..." Jesus could have further told them the core message of the gospel at John 6:35, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst."
Couched in a metaphorical way, I am sure the 5 thousand would NOT think lesser of Jesus if he had NOT performed the miracle of feeding the 5 thousand with only a basket of 5 barley loaves and 2 small fishes.
To any ordinary Christian folk, it would defy all natural laws of this world to turn that small basket into food for the masses. Even with the help of modern technology, mass rapid transportation and a well-equipped kitchen of hundreds and hundreds of helping hands, it would have taken more than one day to prepare for and deliver the food to 5 thousand. But Jesus defied natural laws and performed the miracle so unbelievably well that at the end of the meal, when all 5 thousand were fed to their belly hill, there were 12 baskets of bread remaining. I guess even McDonald would have been amazed by the mass rapid production of fish burgers in one hot afternoon!
The lad who gave it all
My focus on this gospel account is on the young lad and not so much on the miracle itself. The miracle, you see, is only a means to an end...and that end is how that little unknown boy sacrificed all that he had for all that he would ever need. I believe that this was the essence of Jesus' message that day.
Borrowing from the words of Jesus "I am the bread of life," and meshed that with a little allegorical creativity, I interpret the 5 barley bread of life as different aspects of our life: that is, our life in the past, our present life, our life in the future, our life within and our life eternal. As for the 2 fishes, I interpret that as the great commission of witnessing and follow-upship. In this letter, I will only focus on the 5 aspects of our life.
Surrending our past to God
Just like the boy who gave his bread to Jesus, we are called to surrender our past to God. Our past matters and it affects how we live in the present. Many events in the past color our present thinking and behavior. Mistakes and regrets abound in our past. For some of us, we cannot bring ourselves to forgive the people who had hurt us deeply and gratuitously. Victims of abuse and betrayal cannot let go of the hatred they have for their perpetrators. We are invariably tied to our past like a ball of chain around our ankle and we live our lives today burdened by past hurts, pain, anger, guilt, mistakes and regrets.
Because some of us are so affected by our past in a negative way, we allow it to overshadow all past achievements and joyous good times. We consciously practise selective recollection and erase from our memory all the good that had happened in the past and trade all that for all the bad, the ugly and the most painful.
It is time to do something about it. It is time to let go, cut off the chain that binds us, release ourselves from the hurts and the guilt, forgive the unforgivable and surrender it all to God. Give our "basket" to Jesus and allow him to turn our pain into healing, our mourning into joy and our regrets to rest. Here is Jesus' invitation to you in Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Trusting God with our future
From life in our past to the future, we are called to trust God with our future. Remember the scripture, Christ in you, the hope of glory? What does the future hold for us? Have we taken the time to think about it? Needless to say, we do not experience our future now or directly. We only experience it mentally or when we think about it creatively. Common words associated with our future are hope, goals, aspiration, target, wishes and dreams. It may sound uncanny to say this but the truth is, our future affects our present. For those whose future is bleak, their present is generally bleak. For those whose future is bright, their present is correspondingly bright. Imagine telling a convict on death row to cheer up. Or try telling an Aids patient to laugh more often. It is much harder than words can evoke.
Since our future depends on our choices and actions today, we do have a stake in our future. For some of us, we create our future. Our future can be what we want it to be. I see my future as a mature tree bearing forth fruits and my present as the first seed. If I plant my seed well, I will get a good harvest in return.
But the challenge here is, can we trust God with our future? Can we rest on the blessed assurance that God has a plan for us? Can we be confident to face our future even when our past and our present are so messed up and troubled? Do we give up our future, stop making positive choices, scatter the seeds unto the wayside, just because we feel doom and gloom over our present? Can we have hope for our future?
Yes, we can have hope for our future only if we surrender it to God just like the little boy who gave it all to Jesus. I guess on that day, the most reluctant person was the little boy. It was a hard choice for him to give everything he had to Jesus. I can imagine the big ugly sulk over his tiny rosy face when he surrendered his basket. It was more than just taking away a child's toy, it was taking away his livelihood. But however difficult, that one choice made all the difference. That one choice became the inspiration for all who read the bible even up to this day.
Remember, surrendering our future is an act of the mind, since our future has not yet happened. After mentally giving our concerns and anxiety of our future to God, we stop thinking about it. We carry on with our life by faith and hope. We release the burden to God and resist the temptation of taking it back. It is a daily choice; a daily discipline. And no matter what happens, good or bad, we trust that God has made a way for us. In the end, we walk diligently in the direction that faith takes us. For on the road of faith, trust is our signpost, hope is our map and Jesus...our travelling companion.
Living courageously in the Present
Then comes our present. This is the life we are living now. How should we live since we have surrendered our past and entrusted our future to God? Our present is the all-important bridge that links our past with our future. Our present therefore does not stand alone. Memories of the past and prospects of the future do affect our present thinking and behavior.
There are many ways we can live our current life. There is an epitaph that reads, "Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse." Nothing in that epitaph talks about how our life impacts others - for good or for bad - when we die. I personally know that a good life is not measured by how good the dead looks. In fact, nothing about the dead looks bad, unsightly or out-of-place. Think about the well-ornated coffin, the well-decorated funeral and the well-intended wreath. And even the well-embalmed corpse looks more alive than some of those who are living. So, having said that, how should we then live our present life?
With reference to our past, we should now live with love and courage. With reference to our future, we should now live in hope and faith. I assume that living with love and in hope and faith are patently obvious. But why courage?
Let me make it clear: Courage is not the absence of fear or doubt . It is the absence of duplicity or double-mindedness. Courage is single-mindedness. Courage is standing on what is right and refusing to compromise even when it seems most attractive, most popular and most convenient to do so. It takes courage, a lot of it, to stand firm on what is right against the rising tide of dissent, against temptations and against ridicule and mockery.
This world desperately needs more courageous men and women - people who will stand up against ungodly rulers, against repressive policies and against hypocritical designs. People like Ruby Bridges.
Ruby was an African-American during the days of segregation. All Ruby wanted to do was to go to school. But racial wars in America had kept many people like Ruby from getting a basic education. So when the opportunity came when a federal judge ordered New Orleans to open its public schools to African-American children, Ruby and her parents were overjoyed. However the joy did not last very long. The federal judgment caused a great commotion amongst the white parents. They protested against the ruling and threatened any black children of immediate physical harm should they attend school. In fact, they went to such extreme as to stop their children from attending school should the school admit one black child. Many African-American parents kept their children from school for fear of physical harm. But this did not stop one black girl from attending school.
Two US marshalls accompanied the brave little Ruby to school. At the empty school, the crowd made up of white parents shook their fists at Ruby. They shouted at her and threatened to do terrible things to her if she kept coming to school. Undaunted, Ruby walked into the classroom with her head held high, unashamed and unafraid. Then she spent the day alone with her teachers inside that big silent school building. The courageous Ruby came to school everyday after that despite threats on her life and her parents' lives.
When her mother was asked about her daughter, she said, "There's a lot of people who talked about doing good, and a lot of people who argued about what's good and what's not good, but there are other folks who just put their lives on the line for what's right." And little Ruby did just that. Indeed, our life shrinks or expands in proportion to our courage.
Life within and life eternal
Finally, let's deal with our life within and life eternal. Our life within is our spirit life and it is closely tied to life eternal. Our spirit is the only part of us that survives our physical death. It is also where the real you resides. Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2:11, "For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him." It is this "man's spirit" that will live forever in God's heavenly kingdom. It is therefore the place we are called to nurture and develop. This is where our first priority and responsibility as a Christian lie.
We are called to cultivate a spirit of righteousness and humility. We are called to be like Christ, to demonstrate Christ's love and compassion and to be a servant to all and master to none except our fleshly desires. All this seems like a tall order; a task reserved for the great men and women of God. Surely, ordinary, average men and women like us would not meet the mark. But Jesus reminded us that the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is that of a little child. He said, "therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." The key here is humility.
Score with humility
It is easy to be a child when we are a child. But as we grow older, we become less child-like. With age and experience, we shed all remnants of childhood and become an adult. But the years of accumulated knowledge and experiences only serve to ossify some of our attitudes and beliefs. We become less receptive, less teachable and less flexible. Things we will normally say and do as a child no longer seem sensible or palatable to us as adult. As our ego expands to contain all our years of mis-shapened and wieldy knowledge and experiences, we become rebellious to change, even when they are for our own good. Good advices fell on deaf ears. Our heart becomes militantly defensive and jealously guarded. Instead of being an instrument for God's use, we become an instrument for our own use.
Ironically, it is when we think that we are the greatest in God's kingdom that we are the least of them all. It is when we think that we have arrived that our journey has just begun. For it is written, "He said to them, you are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your heart. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight."
Being humble is easier said than done; because humility requires us to surrender to God the one thing that we cannot let go, that is, our pride, our ego.
Through the years, our pride has become an inextricable part of us. It has become our identity; the part of us that others see, adore and admire. Pride defines us as who we are. It is the part of us that we show to the world to get the world's approval. It is also the part of us that we draw our stubborn self-will from. So pride will not let us go. Neither are we quick to let it go to God. But Jesus admonishes us about it and the price of "greatness" in the kingdom of God is to surrender our pride to Him. Let God deal with our ego.
So, there you have it, the 5 aspects of our life that we are called to surrender to God. The story of the feeding of 5 thousand has taught me an invaluable lesson about life and it cannot be better expressed in this scripture, "...for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:24-26)
Have a life-surrending day!
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