Amazing Testimony of a Rose trampled

This Easter weekend I read an inspiring true life story of Thomas and Marilyn Rose. This resilient couple is the founder of Waymaker Ministries. They are evangelists who had travelled to many parts of the world, including West Africa, to bring the message of hope to the lost.

Ever so tireless and sacrificial are their lives in serving God and expanding His kingdom that you would think God would have rewarded their ceaseless effort with showers of blessing. Think again... Their lives were once tested by misfortunes and tragedies tantamount to enduring one big emotional storm after another and these tragedies would have surely stretched any human spirit to breaking point. However, they stayed the course and fought the good fight and ran the race admirably. Today, their won’t-give-in testimony is recounted in their book called The Valley of Decision – What do you do when the Trials of life Overwhelm you?

The First Trial

The Rose family had three lovely, charming children: Ben, Lacey and Rachel. Everything was going well for them until one day the head of the family, Tom, experienced some discomfort in his chest. He also got tired easily and he felt slightly nausea at times. He then decided to go for a seemingly routine medical checkup.

When the results came out, Tom was devastated. Doctor told him that he had congestive heart failure. This was how Tom wrote about it, “After a battery of tests the doctors concluded that my body was a mess. They said my kidneys had shut down, which was the reason for my weight being high. Through the use of diuretics, they took thirty pounds of water off me in about ten days. My liver was inflamed and swollen, which accounted for the yellowish color of my skin. My lungs had filled with fluid, and my heart had enlarged. Last of all, my thyroid was barely functioning.” Despite this, there was a silver lining. The doctor told Tom that his body would rally up to a complete recovery with proper medication.

But over time, he suffered several heart failures and the doctors gave him this verdict - more like a death sentence, “Mr Rose, I am sorry to tell you, but there is no hope for you outside of a heart transplant. Some sort of virus has attacked your body. We have not been able to determine what the virus is. It might have been something you contracted recently, or it quite possibly could have been a virus you picked up overseas in Vietnam.” You see, Tom served in the military in Vietnam for six years in 1971.

Then, the doctors executed Tom’s hope with these words, “At the present time, your heart is only contracting at 15% of normal capacity. There isn’t a thing we can do for you except attempt to give you a new heart.”

You can imagine the agony that Tom was experiencing at that time when the doctors dropped the bombshell of his very fragile mortality. On a whole, we can generally survive a betrayal by a close friend, recover from a financial crisis or even brave through a failed marriage. But to be told at the prime of your life, when everything is going so smoothly for you, and when you are just enjoying the best part of marriage in the eyes of your three precious children, that your life is going to end soon, very soon, is one trial that forces you to make immediate, painful changes in your life.

Tom knew that he had to be strong for his family. He knew that he might not live to see his children’s graduation or walk down the aisle with them. Or carry his grandchildren. He also dreaded the thought that to his grandchildren, he would only be a printed face in the family photo album and nothing more. But, Tom remained strong for them, and cited Psalms to keep hope afloat, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.”

Tom indeed kept his spirits up until the next trial came along. It would be a trial that would test his faith in God to the core.

The Second Trial

The second trial came in a forceful whirling of a helicopter. Tom heard the helicopter flying over his house when seconds later, the phone rang. It was Tom's mother calling. She called to tell Tom of a terrible accident nearby. Before this phone call, Tom had allowed his sister to drive his two children, Ben and Lacey, to the skating rink. It doesn’t take an intelligent guess to know what the second trial is. Tom’s two children, Ben and Lacey, were involved in a horrible accident that required them to be airlifted to a nearby hospital. In fact, Ben was pinned in the car and the paramedics took over an hour to cut him out. That hour was an eternity for Tom and his wife, Marilyn.

In the hospital, Tom, Marilyn and their family members prayed like never before for their children to survive the accident. They waited feverishly as the team of doctors operated on them. At that time of the accident, Ben was only 9 and his sister, Lacey, 12. In all good conscience, nobody that young should be allowed to undergo such trauma and pain, especially when their whole family devoted to and worshipped a loving and all-powerful God. Alas, good conscience did not prevail.

Hours passed and the doctor came out of the surgery room and approached Marilyn, “Mrs Rose, I am afraid your son is brain dead. He has been for some time.” The news floored Marilyn. Her whole life fell apart. She wept uncontrollably. Her husband also wept with her. However, the doctor did not stop there.

A life for many

At such a terribly painful and difficult time, the doctor mustered the courage and made a seemingly ill-timed request, “I know this is hard for you," the doctor said, "but a representative from Trans-life is here if you would like to consider donating Benjamin’s organs…” I know that I am not qualified to say that I understand how Tom and Marilyn must have felt at the moment the request was made. At least, in all logic however unscientific, a body intact still gave some hope to them that Ben could be revived miraculously. Miracles do happen you know. But to assent to giving away their son’s organs would surely and effectively kill all hope of a miracle. Talk about crossroad, life-and-death decision!

Tom nevertheless made that painful decision. He wrote in his book, “I agree to donate Benny’s organs. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done; yet I can truly say I am glad I did. Weeks later when I needed encouragement, a letter came from Trans-life, which told us a thirteen-year-old girl was alive and doing well after receiving Ben’s heart. In addition to that, an eighteen-month-old baby girl had received his liver. Finally, a fifty-year-old man and fifty-one-year-old woman were now off dialysis because of his kidneys.”

This powerful, touching testimony brings a whole new meaning to this Easter weekend. It demonstrates to believers the true message of Calvary; that is, how a life given up so painfully and completely can bring renewed hope and life to some many people.

Then, amidst the trials, Tom and Marilyn received some comforting news about Lacey, their daughter. Two weeks after they had lost Ben, the doctors told them that Lacey was off the respirator and she was going to recover. But the joy was short-lived. This was to be the Rose Family's 3rd Trial.

The Third Trial

The next morning, they received a call from the hospital and were told that Lacey had suffered a massive heart attack. The doctor admitted that the heart attack was caused by an injection of a medication to slow her heart down. But the effect of the medication caused her little heart to stop completely. The hospital staff then rushed to revive her with paddles. The days that followed would result in the death of their precious little princess.

“As the days wore on, Lacey’s condition worsened," Tom recalled. "The devastation caused by this condition is beyond description. Ten days after that call to return to the hospital, Lacey, swollen beyond recognition, went home to be with the Lord. It was a slow, agonizing death. The doctors who had worked so hard trying to save her was devastated…I saw him sit on the floor at Marilyn’s feet, tears streaming down his face.” This time, even the doctor cried with Tom and Marilyn.

A rose trampled

In one seemingly random, cruel act of nature so blind and unapologetic, everything that gave meaning and hope to Tom’s life and family were taken from them. At least when Tom was told he had heart problems, he could pray for a miracle to live long enough to see his children’s graduation and wedding, and possibly his grandchildren. But now, in their death, this miracle is never going to happen.

At ground zero, Tom cried out, “It seemed as though Marilyn and I had come to the end of our rope. Over the past several months, we had lost our business. Because we could not pay the rent, we were being asked to vacate our home. I had lost my health, and now we had lost two of our three children. There did not seem to be one aspect of our lives that had not been devastated. It was at this point that we began to ask ourselves the question, “Does God really love us?” Can you blame them for asking?

Trial of Trials

I have seen many lives wrecked for reasons beyond consolative explanation. No one could explain to me adequately why terrible things happened to the most innocent and undeserving of us all. Many will attempt to present a theory for our suffering. Many will want to distinguish themselves by making sense of our sorrow and pain. But there is apparently no answer other than the answer that there is no answer. That is why Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

We can only weep with the weeping. When in the company of the despair, listening is the best consolation; words only compound the confusion. A family therapy, Daniel Gottlieb, who had his share of life’s problems, once wrote in his touching book, Letters to Sam, “When I am in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out. I think that’s what we all want. When you are hurt, be close to people who love you and who tolerate your pain without passing judgment or giving you advice. As time passes, you will long less for what you had yesterday and experience more of what you have today.”

A chain of pearls

Daniel Gottlieb is also a renowned practicing psychologist who suffered a misfortune that changed his life completely. In his fifth year of marriage, his wife contracted cancer and the disease put a stain on their marriage and finances. Five years later, another tragedy befell on him. In Letters to Sam, he recounted “…shortly before our tenth wedding anniversary, I was on the thruway, driving out to my uncle’s house to pick up a new car – an anniversary surprise. Only later would I learn what had happened. A hundred-pound wheel flew off an oncoming tractor-trailer, bounced across the road, and landed on the roof of my car. I heard nothing – saw nothing. My neck was broken, the spinal cord severed between my fifth and sixth cervical vertebrae. I could still talk. I had feeling in my face and shoulders. I was alive, and I was a quadriplegic.”

Like a chain of pearls, trials come in a bundle. When Dr Gottlieb's grandson, Sam, was born, he had PDD – pervasive developmental disorder. This means that Sam was autistic. Autism is a robber of opportunities for contact, intimacy and even love. Autistic children are almost always easy target for school bullies since they are socially unresponsive, they see human beings as devoid of emotions like mannequins or objects, and they are unable to defend themselves or act in socially acceptable ways.

The life of an autistic child is always painful for the parents. Cases of severe autism can turn a child into a violent person with self-mutilating tendencies. They can bang their head against the floor or wall until their whole head is covered in blood. They can get involve in fights that threaten life and limbs.

The seriousness of Sam’s condition prompted Dr Gottlieb to compile a series of touching letters written especially for his grandson. In one of the letters, he advised, “Sam, you are the product of the great love that two wounded souls have found. I love you every moment of every day. And I love you for the joy you have brought to my daughter…Sam, I want you to know that being different is not a problem. It’s just being different. But feeling different is a problem. When you feel different, the feeling can actually change the way you see the world.”

The triumph of optimism

Indeed, many of us are driven slavishly, like sheep to the slaughter, by our distorted feelings when we are struck by personal calamity. I know it is not easy or even natural to feel good after something bad has happened. But that’s not the problem. The problem is that we feed our feelings with negative thoughts, revile it with discouragements and starve it with hopelessness. And if we do it long enough, our world becomes darker and darker. It is like sentencing ourselves to life in a prison of despair. Although we cannot prevent tragedy from crashing into our life like a bad dream, we can surely over time prevent negative, hopeless and condemning thoughts from remaining in our life. Remember it is your life, your house, your rules.

William Arthur Ward once wrote, “Real optimism is being aware of problems but recognizing the solutions, knowing about difficulties but believing they can be overcome, seeing the negatives but accentuating the positives, is exposed to the worst but expects the best, has reason to complain but chooses to smile.”

In life’s tragedy, we are both victims and victors at the same time. We are victim to our circumstances because tragedy are beyond our control. They happen when we least expect it. But, they are also transient.

Just as we are victims to our circumstances, we are victors as well. We are victors in the way we choose to respond to the circumstances that victimize us. This philosophy is as old as Adam himself. We can let a little light into our darkroom every day and it will slowly but surely brighten the whole room. We can distract ourselves from the pain and fill our hours with meaningful activities, impacting lives for God. We can learn from our adversity and be grateful for the wisdom that it brings.

The famous nineteenth century revivalist Charles Spurgeon once wrote, “I bear willing witness that I owe more to the fire, and the hammer, and the file, than to anything else in my Lord’s workshop. I sometimes question whether I have ever learned anything except through the rod. When my schoolroom is darkened, I see most.”

A blessed rose

Let’s go back to the testimony of Tom and Marilyn Rose. After their children died in a car accident, after they lost their house and savings, a miracle of a different complexion began to happen. The community they lived in came together and funded their accommodation and put them and their family in a comfortable condominium. The people around them were greatly inspired by their testimony and their unwavering faith in God. Lives were changed as Tom and Marilyn were now able to heal the pain of others with the understanding and wisdom they had gained through experiencing pain of their own.

They took the Bible’s advice that commanded, “In everything give thanks,” literally. They sang and praised God despite the pain they had to go through. In their book, they recounted that praising God brings about three immeasurable benefits. Praises changes their focus. It distracts them from self-wallowing and commiseration. Praises also drove back the forces of darkness, for it is written “God inhabits our praises.” Lastly, God changes our garment through praises.

In Isaiah 61:3, it is written that He will give us “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” In addition, just as trials come in a bundle, miracles come in trove. Tom and Marilyn experienced the miracle of a changed life. They chose to forgive the drunk driver who caused the accident and the hospital staff who mistakenly injected Lacey that led to her demise. They waive their right to claim for compensation, thereby decommissioning their lawyers. In turn, God healed Tom of his heart condition and gave him a new lease of life.

Nothing is more appropriate than to close this letter to you with an extract from Tom’s own inspiring words, “At one time my heart worked at half of its capacity, and I was a happy man. After the first heart failure, my heart was at 30 percent, but I could still say I was a happy man. It was when I lost my children my heart was broken.

To me, the greatest miracle was not the healing of my physical heart. It was when Jesus mended our broken hearts. Besides our salvation, this is the greatest miracle of all. I know I will never see my son graduate from the Air Force Academy, which was his dream. I will never see Lacey become a large animal veterinarian and train horses, which was her dream. There is, however, one thing I have seen – our children in the arms of a loving Savior.

I still miss them – and I will until that day we are together again – yet Jesus has given me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that I might be called a tree of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”

Renovating our heavenly mansion

Last Friday we shared about renovation. One of our cell members, James, set the ball rolling by sharing that God sometimes carry out unsolicited "renovation" to our heart to set us on the right path. These renovation works can be painful and difficult especially when it deals with our personal ego and sins. And the funny thing is that the harder we resist it, the more painful and difficult the process becomes. This is where Kwan Hong, another of our cell member, enlightened us with his testimony about complete surrender to God or sweet abandonment. There is no point in controlling everything, he shared. No point in calculating to a decimal point. We cannot understand why some things happened to us the way they did. Neither can we prevent them from occuring. Stranded at the crossroad of life, we just have to surrender to God and trust Him completely. In a nutshell, Kwan Hong shared that human resistance is futile, secular planning is fruitless and micromanagement of our life is self-defeating.

God deals with us individually, systematically and thoroughly. His first task is to renovate our heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." The religious leaders of Jesus' time did a great injustice to themselves by focusing all their efforts on keeping up with the appearance of righteousnes and totally neglecting the essence of rigthteousness. That is why Jesus reserved the worst of rebuke for them in Luke 11:39, "Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?" Basically, the religious teachers got the order of righteousness in reverse. Instead of spring cleaning their hearts, they did major major construction works to their soon-to-perish outward appearance.

After the fall, men and women alike descend into the greatest struggle of all time. It is the struggle of self will and God's will. This struggle has turned many Christian lives into incoherent fragments. Without allowing God to renovate our hearts, we naturally surrender to what I call the "belly gods." We become subjected to the appetites of self. We succumb to the pleasures and temptations of this world almost unconsiously. We become spotless outside but are rotting inside. For a more graphic description of the dictates of the belly gods, read Phil 3:19 and Roms 16:18.

James brought up an issue that I believe is close to our hearts. He said that the life of a Christian can be summed up simply as "Obey self or obey God." And at the heart of this human option is the infinite power of our personal choice. It is our daily choice that will determine our ultimate destiny. It is also the most difficult choice of all. When Kwan Hong said, "surrendering all to God," it is surely an admirable quality and it coincides neatly with the sober words of John Calvin, "For as the surest source of destruction to men is to obey themselves, so the only haven of safety is to have no other will, no other wisdom, than to follow the Lord wherever he leads. Let this, then, be the first step, to abandon ourselves, and devote the whole energy of our minds to the service of God." In short, we are called to make the right choice and to carry the cross of Christ daily. For the cross is the true symbol of God's unfailing love for us.

For John Stott, the cross is the place where two lovers meet - God and his creation. It is the ultimate rendezvour point of sacrificial love. In his book Why I am a Christian, John Stott emphasized on the power of the cross by saying, "So the church has been right to choose the cross as its symbol for Christianity. It could have chosen the crib in which teh baby Jesus was laid (as an emblem of the incarnation), or the carpenter's bench (affirming the dignity of manual labor), or the boat from which he taught the people, or the towel with which he washed and wiped the disciples' feet (as symbols of humble service), or the tomb from which he rose again, or the throne he occupies today (representing his sovereignty), or the dove or the fire (emblems of the Holy Spirit)."

But the church wisely chose the cross as the symbol of Christianity. While the Catholic churches have its majestic architecture, grand pipe organ and glass ceiling, and Buddhism has its bronze statue of an unfazed Buddha, Christianity has nothing fancy to show but an old, rugged and bloodied cross. A cross which symbolizes the worst of mankind as well as the best of God's unconditional love. A cross which nails our creator to it and yet liberated his creation from it. A cross which condemns one man but lifts all condemnation forever.

There is surely something about the message of Jesus that tinkers more than our mind and strokes more than our curiosity. Most religious leaders died of natural causes in a good old age. Muhammad died at 62. Confucius at 72. Budhha at 80 and Moses at 120 (although his body was not found). But a good death was not Jesus' portion. He died at the prime of his life, 33. He died a condemned man. He died an unspeakable death.

To the secular world, Jesus died a complete failure, alone and defeated. But yet, his death changed the course of history in heaven and on earth. His death led a worldwide revolution that still resonates in the hearts of believers and non-believers alike. It is a revolution that first starts in the heart and impacts the world. So we have to give credit where credit is due. Either we accept Jesus as a lunatic or a savior. Either we believe his claim of deity or not. CS Lewis puts it best in his customary no-hold-bar description of Jesus, "A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said woudl not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with teh man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the devil of hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

Jesus' death is a serious matter - serious enough for us to take him seriously. To say that he died for us is not specific enough. Correctly put, He died for our soul. He wants us to purify our heart. To renovate our spirit. To hanker after him. This is our first and most important calling. It is his love that changes all. God did not send his creation to die for us. He did not send Moses. He did not send Paul. He did not send Archangel Michael or Gabriel to the cross. He sent himself. This only tells us how much we mean to Him. The creator was crucified for his creation.

If you are the only coin that rolled into the far corner of the bed, God will reach out for you. If you are the only sheep that went astray, God will seek you out. If you are the only fish in the vast ocean, he will fish you out. If you are lost and desolate and has gone "prodigal", he waits for you like a father would wait for his son. Indeed, if we love Christ, it is because he loved us first.

CS Lewis describes his conversion as a game of hide and seek - with God being the relentless seeker. First God was "the great Angler" and CS Lewis never dreamed that the hook was in his tongue. Then, God was likened to a cat chasing a mouse. Next, God was described as a pack of hounds, seeking him out. Later, God was the Divine Chessplayer and gradually outmaneuvered him into an impossible position. Finally, at the end of the road, God "checkmated" CS Lewis as he gave his life to Him and never looked back.

Let me end with what our cell member,Nigel, shared at the cell. He said that when he surrenders to God, he feels immediate peace and calm. His heart is no longer harassed. His mind, at rest. His spirit satisfied. This I guess is the ultimate reward for a surrendered life: the reward of divine invincibility. Indeed, a heart contented is worth the world under our feet.

Have a victorious week...

Friday's Recap (120908)

Last Friday we discussed quite a fair bit about heaven. Heaven, as a place of eternal bliss and rest, has been largely a marvellous mystery to many believers. The bible gives us some clues about heaven but they remain as clues and not a detailed retirement brochure displaying colored shots of 5-star mansions, of lavish banquet and feasting and of exquisite wining and dining.

Before I start to recap, I would like to set the record straight. Talking about heaven is mostly an exercise in spiritual imagination. As no one I know or have talked to has been to heaven, I can only say that any talk about heaven is 50% biblically based and 50% imaginatively constructed (of course, the percentage apportionment is discretionary). Although I do not doubt the reality of heaven, I do doubt the authenticity of some of the accounts given by people who claimed to have been taken up to heaven.

So, heaven is indeed a wonderful place, filled with glory and grace, but it is also a mystery to many and the thought itself is inspiring enough without figuring out too much about it. The key here is to keep watch and pray. The hope here is to be heavenly-conscious and at the same time, evangelistically mindful. And the faith here is to live your life on the blessed assurance of eternal reconciliation.

We know that when we die now, we will go to intermediate heaven - a place where believers await the final judgment. This is like a default position for believers. All Christian who accepted Christ and did not renounce him along the way would get a free ticket to intermediate heaven. How about those who rejected Christ? Is there an intermediate hell reserved for them?

An issue that is close to my heart is; what will happen to infants and "earthly saints" like Gandhi who died without accepting Christ? How about aborted fetuses? Will they land up in intermediate heaven or hell? I think no one has the definite answer to this. It is easy and painful to say that they will be lost forever. Are they really lost forever? I'll leave this to God (But didn't God said to Moses, "...I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." - Exodus 33:19).

Then, we talked about our identity and relationship in heaven. In my previous recap, I wrote that all relationships cease to exist in heaven. Our wife and children will no longer be recognised as our wife and children. They will just be heavenly resurrected bodies worshipping God in one big family, rejoicing and celebrating throughout eternity. Well, on this, I am glad that Mark kor and Annie our spiritual nanny stood up and woke me up.

They disgreed and said that we do not lose our identity and relationships in heaven. They assert that our wife and children, parents and relative, and friends remain as they are. They will not take any other form. Neither will these intimate and precious relationships be neutralised. Annie said, "what will heaven be without the grand reunion with my father and loved ones?" She relishes the joy of welcoming friends and relatives into heaven when they arrive. I am sure Mark will want to play with Zi le in heaven and take long walks with his wife along the river of life. (or pop up behind the heavenly reception counter and give her a pleasant surprise!)

In short, it defies good sense for any earthly relationship that has brought so much joy and hope in our earthly lives to be erased away when we enter pearly gates. (what was I thinking?) The choice is of course obvious: enter heaven amidst a multitude of accommodating strangers or enter heaven celebrating with our loved ones, hugging and shedding tears of joy with them, dancing and singing like there's no tomorrow? Well, I guess the latter scene is more like heaven to me.

And this view is biblically based. Annie brought up Christ, after his death at the cross, appearing to his disciples and Thomas and 500 more in his resurrected body. They recognised him beyond the deep scars and bruises. She also brought up the transfiguration of Moses and Elijah in shining robe. With enlightened understanding, the disciples recognised them. Even the rich man called Lazarus by name and pleaded with him to dip his finger in water to quench his thirst (Luke 16:25). Read also the faith of the centurion where Jesus spoke about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (Matt 18:11).

Then, we talked about sex. Will we be getting any with our loved one in heaven? (don't mind the ghetto slang). Well, if you read Matthew 22:30 about the widow and 7 dead husbands, you will note that marriage and remarriage will cease. Some believe that there is only one marriage in heaven and that is our marriage to Christ. But for me, remarrying is out of the question because Anna "the wife" will be the first to object! I would too. More practically, I believe that we will be renewing our earthly marriage vows in heaven. There may be a small, modest dinner. And possibly, after that, some good loving...(don't mind the ghetto slang). Or may be not... I'll leave it to your imagination...

How about our age? Will we be and look the age we die? Or, will we be always 33? Will we be at our sweet 16? (this was Mark's wish - our very own peter pan). Or, will we be ageless? Well, this is where your imagination comes in...

How about activities? Will we be worshipping and praising all throughout eternity? I don't know about you, but that's a lot of worshipping and praising. I empathise with the musicians' fingers. I hope there is more to do than that in heaven. Books? Video games? Shopping? How about sleep, rest and food? Will we still need to eat in heaven? (Jesus barbecued with his disciples by the beach in his resurrected body) What do we wear? How about make up, diamond ring and gold chain? (Well, what could be shinier than our glorified white robe?) Do we burp or fart in heaven? How about going to the toilet? Will our pets go to heaven? On the latter point, some writers believe that animals have non-human souls and we will see them in heaven. (Isaiah 11:6-9; Genesis 1:30, 2:7, 6:17; 7:15,22)

Lastly, do we argue in heaven? Do we gossip, backstab or insult? Here, there is a consensus among the experts. We will sin no more in heaven. Our resurrected bodies and our union with God make us perfect, spotless and sinless. There will be eternal harmony and peace in heaven. The great reconciliation will transform us into perfect spiritual beings. We will be like the good neighbors, always offering well baked cookies to new arrivals. The joy never ceases.

So, heaven will be what heaven will be. And Revelation 21:1, 3-5 is a good place to start firing up our spiritual imagination about heaven (with particular emphasis on the words in bold):-

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth...and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then, he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Any contributions?

(For a complete, exhaustive and colorful description about heaven, you can read the book of the same name by Dr Randy Alcorn - the book is scaringly detailed - pages 400 plus tomb).

5 barley loaves & 2 small fishes

Jesus did it again

Do you know who gave Jesus 5 barley loaves and 2 small fishes to feed 5 thousand? In John 6:9, we are told that a lad sacrificed his family lunch for a mass picnic. The lad should be no more than 9 years old. It appeared that he was the only one who attended Jesus' mass rally with food. Nobody knew for sure why he had brought food for that day. One clue was that the people were celebrating the Passover feast and the little boy might be preparing for the feast with the bread and fishes.

The bible tells us little about the little boy whose basket of bread and fishes kept thousands from going hungry that day. One thing's for sure...the boy had never expected that Jesus would ask him for all that he had that day so that he could perform a miracle of great dietary proportion. It is no easy task to sit everyone down on a deserted mountain top with nothing to show but a basket of 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes. I estimate that the tiny basket was only enough for a family of 5 - provided they were not too hungry. But Jesus promised them that it was more than enough to feed all - all 5 thousand of them! A promise no right thinking and rational person would give to 5 thousand hungry, and possibly rowdy, mob.

From a secular and practical point of view, Jesus could have taken the opportunity to ask the multitude of 5 thousand to fast for that afternoon. He could have told them what he would be telling them at John 6:27, "Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you..." Jesus could have further told them the core message of the gospel at John 6:35, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst."

Couched in a metaphorical way, I am sure the 5 thousand would NOT think lesser of Jesus if he had NOT performed the miracle of feeding the 5 thousand with only a basket of 5 barley loaves and 2 small fishes.

To any ordinary Christian folk, it would defy all natural laws of this world to turn that small basket into food for the masses. Even with the help of modern technology, mass rapid transportation and a well-equipped kitchen of hundreds and hundreds of helping hands, it would have taken more than one day to prepare for and deliver the food to 5 thousand. But Jesus defied natural laws and performed the miracle so unbelievably well that at the end of the meal, when all 5 thousand were fed to their belly hill, there were 12 baskets of bread remaining. I guess even McDonald would have been amazed by the mass rapid production of fish burgers in one hot afternoon!

The lad who gave it all

My focus on this gospel account is on the young lad and not so much on the miracle itself. The miracle, you see, is only a means to an end...and that end is how that little unknown boy sacrificed all that he had for all that he would ever need. I believe that this was the essence of Jesus' message that day.

Borrowing from the words of Jesus "I am the bread of life," and meshed that with a little allegorical creativity, I interpret the 5 barley bread of life as different aspects of our life: that is, our life in the past, our present life, our life in the future, our life within and our life eternal. As for the 2 fishes, I interpret that as the great commission of witnessing and follow-upship. In this letter, I will only focus on the 5 aspects of our life.

Surrending our past to God

Just like the boy who gave his bread to Jesus, we are called to surrender our past to God. Our past matters and it affects how we live in the present. Many events in the past color our present thinking and behavior. Mistakes and regrets abound in our past. For some of us, we cannot bring ourselves to forgive the people who had hurt us deeply and gratuitously. Victims of abuse and betrayal cannot let go of the hatred they have for their perpetrators. We are invariably tied to our past like a ball of chain around our ankle and we live our lives today burdened by past hurts, pain, anger, guilt, mistakes and regrets.

Because some of us are so affected by our past in a negative way, we allow it to overshadow all past achievements and joyous good times. We consciously practise selective recollection and erase from our memory all the good that had happened in the past and trade all that for all the bad, the ugly and the most painful.

It is time to do something about it. It is time to let go, cut off the chain that binds us, release ourselves from the hurts and the guilt, forgive the unforgivable and surrender it all to God. Give our "basket" to Jesus and allow him to turn our pain into healing, our mourning into joy and our regrets to rest. Here is Jesus' invitation to you in Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Trusting God with our future

From life in our past to the future, we are called to trust God with our future. Remember the scripture, Christ in you, the hope of glory? What does the future hold for us? Have we taken the time to think about it? Needless to say, we do not experience our future now or directly. We only experience it mentally or when we think about it creatively. Common words associated with our future are hope, goals, aspiration, target, wishes and dreams. It may sound uncanny to say this but the truth is, our future affects our present. For those whose future is bleak, their present is generally bleak. For those whose future is bright, their present is correspondingly bright. Imagine telling a convict on death row to cheer up. Or try telling an Aids patient to laugh more often. It is much harder than words can evoke.

Since our future depends on our choices and actions today, we do have a stake in our future. For some of us, we create our future. Our future can be what we want it to be. I see my future as a mature tree bearing forth fruits and my present as the first seed. If I plant my seed well, I will get a good harvest in return.

But the challenge here is, can we trust God with our future? Can we rest on the blessed assurance that God has a plan for us? Can we be confident to face our future even when our past and our present are so messed up and troubled? Do we give up our future, stop making positive choices, scatter the seeds unto the wayside, just because we feel doom and gloom over our present? Can we have hope for our future?

Yes, we can have hope for our future only if we surrender it to God just like the little boy who gave it all to Jesus. I guess on that day, the most reluctant person was the little boy. It was a hard choice for him to give everything he had to Jesus. I can imagine the big ugly sulk over his tiny rosy face when he surrendered his basket. It was more than just taking away a child's toy, it was taking away his livelihood. But however difficult, that one choice made all the difference. That one choice became the inspiration for all who read the bible even up to this day.

Remember, surrendering our future is an act of the mind, since our future has not yet happened. After mentally giving our concerns and anxiety of our future to God, we stop thinking about it. We carry on with our life by faith and hope. We release the burden to God and resist the temptation of taking it back. It is a daily choice; a daily discipline. And no matter what happens, good or bad, we trust that God has made a way for us. In the end, we walk diligently in the direction that faith takes us. For on the road of faith, trust is our signpost, hope is our map and Jesus...our travelling companion.

Living courageously in the Present

Then comes our present. This is the life we are living now. How should we live since we have surrendered our past and entrusted our future to God? Our present is the all-important bridge that links our past with our future. Our present therefore does not stand alone. Memories of the past and prospects of the future do affect our present thinking and behavior.

There are many ways we can live our current life. There is an epitaph that reads, "Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse." Nothing in that epitaph talks about how our life impacts others - for good or for bad - when we die. I personally know that a good life is not measured by how good the dead looks. In fact, nothing about the dead looks bad, unsightly or out-of-place. Think about the well-ornated coffin, the well-decorated funeral and the well-intended wreath. And even the well-embalmed corpse looks more alive than some of those who are living. So, having said that, how should we then live our present life?

With reference to our past, we should now live with love and courage. With reference to our future, we should now live in hope and faith. I assume that living with love and in hope and faith are patently obvious. But why courage?

Let me make it clear: Courage is not the absence of fear or doubt . It is the absence of duplicity or double-mindedness. Courage is single-mindedness. Courage is standing on what is right and refusing to compromise even when it seems most attractive, most popular and most convenient to do so. It takes courage, a lot of it, to stand firm on what is right against the rising tide of dissent, against temptations and against ridicule and mockery.

This world desperately needs more courageous men and women - people who will stand up against ungodly rulers, against repressive policies and against hypocritical designs. People like Ruby Bridges.

Ruby was an African-American during the days of segregation. All Ruby wanted to do was to go to school. But racial wars in America had kept many people like Ruby from getting a basic education. So when the opportunity came when a federal judge ordered New Orleans to open its public schools to African-American children, Ruby and her parents were overjoyed. However the joy did not last very long. The federal judgment caused a great commotion amongst the white parents. They protested against the ruling and threatened any black children of immediate physical harm should they attend school. In fact, they went to such extreme as to stop their children from attending school should the school admit one black child. Many African-American parents kept their children from school for fear of physical harm. But this did not stop one black girl from attending school.

Two US marshalls accompanied the brave little Ruby to school. At the empty school, the crowd made up of white parents shook their fists at Ruby. They shouted at her and threatened to do terrible things to her if she kept coming to school. Undaunted, Ruby walked into the classroom with her head held high, unashamed and unafraid. Then she spent the day alone with her teachers inside that big silent school building. The courageous Ruby came to school everyday after that despite threats on her life and her parents' lives.

When her mother was asked about her daughter, she said, "There's a lot of people who talked about doing good, and a lot of people who argued about what's good and what's not good, but there are other folks who just put their lives on the line for what's right." And little Ruby did just that. Indeed, our life shrinks or expands in proportion to our courage.

Life within and life eternal

Finally, let's deal with our life within and life eternal. Our life within is our spirit life and it is closely tied to life eternal. Our spirit is the only part of us that survives our physical death. It is also where the real you resides. Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2:11, "For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him." It is this "man's spirit" that will live forever in God's heavenly kingdom. It is therefore the place we are called to nurture and develop. This is where our first priority and responsibility as a Christian lie.

We are called to cultivate a spirit of righteousness and humility. We are called to be like Christ, to demonstrate Christ's love and compassion and to be a servant to all and master to none except our fleshly desires. All this seems like a tall order; a task reserved for the great men and women of God. Surely, ordinary, average men and women like us would not meet the mark. But Jesus reminded us that the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is that of a little child. He said, "therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." The key here is humility.

Score with humility

It is easy to be a child when we are a child. But as we grow older, we become less child-like. With age and experience, we shed all remnants of childhood and become an adult. But the years of accumulated knowledge and experiences only serve to ossify some of our attitudes and beliefs. We become less receptive, less teachable and less flexible. Things we will normally say and do as a child no longer seem sensible or palatable to us as adult. As our ego expands to contain all our years of mis-shapened and wieldy knowledge and experiences, we become rebellious to change, even when they are for our own good. Good advices fell on deaf ears. Our heart becomes militantly defensive and jealously guarded. Instead of being an instrument for God's use, we become an instrument for our own use.

Ironically, it is when we think that we are the greatest in God's kingdom that we are the least of them all. It is when we think that we have arrived that our journey has just begun. For it is written, "He said to them, you are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your heart. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight."

Being humble is easier said than done; because humility requires us to surrender to God the one thing that we cannot let go, that is, our pride, our ego.

Through the years, our pride has become an inextricable part of us. It has become our identity; the part of us that others see, adore and admire. Pride defines us as who we are. It is the part of us that we show to the world to get the world's approval. It is also the part of us that we draw our stubborn self-will from. So pride will not let us go. Neither are we quick to let it go to God. But Jesus admonishes us about it and the price of "greatness" in the kingdom of God is to surrender our pride to Him. Let God deal with our ego.

So, there you have it, the 5 aspects of our life that we are called to surrender to God. The story of the feeding of 5 thousand has taught me an invaluable lesson about life and it cannot be better expressed in this scripture, "...for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:24-26)

Have a life-surrending day!