Boundaries? Do you have one? Or do you have a few? Boundaries are mental fences you set up to keep you sane. Sometimes these mental fences keep you balanced or successful or even happy. So, do you have any? Have you thought about them? This is a good year to start thinking about boundaries. I guess the gatekeeper of your mental fences is your daily choices. You make daily choices to either protect your boundaries or violate them. Here is one example of a violation of boundary. Heard of Tiger Woods? His scores of infidelity? Well, while most of them are tabloid news, the golf legend has been very cavalier with his boundaries. He made many wrong choices in his marital life recently and is still reeling from the effects.
Of course, his personal life is really none of our business and each of us are accountable for our own lives. I do not want to cast the first stone because I am still struggle with character “logs” in my own eyes. But Tiger Woods is a good example of how vulnerable and easy it is for us to violate our boundaries by making the wrong choices in life’s rather tempestuous ride.
Everyday we are bombarded by ideas and events that threaten to breach our mental fences. Temptations abound in more insidious ways than we can imagine. I have seen and heard of husbands giving in to lust and violating the sanctity of marriage. I have read about corporate managers succumbing to greed and making bad choices that landed them in prison for financial frauds. These are everyday account of human fallibility that can be avoided if we are minded on a daily basis to mend our mental fences, upkeep our boundaries, and take responsibility for our life’s choices. Choices have consequences just like over-eating can lead to obesity.
So, let’s be careful, keep a watchful eye, and walk tiptoed when entering areas of emotional minefields. When I was younger, my mother used to tell me not to play with fire. I was then quite an arsonist and nearly burnt down one side of a wall of my neighbor’s master bedroom. Believe you me, I was severely punished and I cried a river. The lesson that day was as simple as this: Not to play with fire because fire is a good servant (when used for cooking meals) but a bad master (when trapped in a burning house).
So, my advice to you guys is this: Do Not to Play with Fire. Metaphorically speaking, of course. There are fires everywhere we go and some of them can consume us, wholly. That first encounter with our female colleague at work may seem harmless enough. It may even blossom into a productive working relationship. But if we are not careful, we can get burned. For married men (or women), the marriage vows have already drawn up the marital boundaries for you. So, please rein in your emotions. Keep a level head. Stay within sound, biblical boundaries. Your life would be much more rewarding if you loyally obey your boundaries and obey it on a daily basis.
Lastly, don’t forget to keep your boundary opened for good things, sound advice and wisdom bites. Let’s not shut up our mental fences to relationships that will benefit us in the long run. Proverbs 27:17 reads, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Beloved, there are people in this life that will enrich you in more ways than you can imagine. If you treat them nicely, and with due respect, you will surprise yourself with blessings and good tidings in years to come. Some relationships should be consciously nurtured and jealously protected and your marriage is one of them. Because you are fallible, you can learn from one another, especially your spouse, your children, or your in-laws. Even inconsequential strangers like your neighbors can drop a hint or two about how to live, how to love and how to make a difference. Embrace good teachings, open your heart to biblical guides, and follow sound, good advice. Always remember that your boundaries define how successful you are and will be. Guard it wisely and courageously against the onslaught of bad values and harmful influences. At the same time, give it space to grow by holding on to good, virtuous principles.
In the end, I prescribe to you the serenity prayer to guide you in your life as it is the key to unlocking invaluable lessons for you to keep your boundaries vibrant, strong and protected: “O Lord, give me the courage to change what I can change, the serenity (peace) to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
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