My God; My Father

Thank you Jesus!

To my cell group, I love each one of you. (all kisses and hugs arewelcome)

With a thankful heart to God and you gals, I have experienced love. Lovethat is unconditional, love that is unselfish and love that I can feelsurrounding me. I have also learned how to love. How to love unselfishly,how to love others more than myself and how to love from my heart withoutbeen seen.

God has been good to me and He is still good to me now and forever. He seesme through every difficult situation.

I have been praying for Jasmine and my family members salvation. Godanswered my prayer. (I believe that all our family members will be savedone day - according to God's timing )
God sent my dad to the hospital and later to St Andrew nursing home lastyear. It was at the nursing home where the nurses actually shared thegospel with my dad and prayed for him. It was there that my dad told methat he wanted to receive Christ and be baptized. God is good. God iswonderful.I did question God why He made my dad suffer and go through all the pain.But now I understand. In whatever situation that seems doom to us (by ournaked eye), God is always behind the scene doing something good for us.My dad did not receive his physical healing from the doctor but he receiveda brand new life (which is more precious whereby you cannot buy it).Instead of the doctor telling me that my dad is in critical condition andmay go any moment, my dad has gained eternal life.

Without the work of God - sending my dad to hospital, I don't think my dadwill receive his salvation. (going to hospital was good)

Do not be discourage when things don't seem to be going right. God knows itand He knows what is in our heart. He even knows that we are angry with Himbut God is so gracious. Not only He is not angry with us, He even turn thesituation around to our benefit. Sometimes we don't even see it at a muchlater time.

I feel ashamed of myself for been angry with God. Why get angry? God knowseverything. I have Christ in me. I should not be living a defeated life. Iam a conqueror. I have God by my side. In all "difficult" situations,something good is bound to take place. So let's face our "difficult"situation with faith, trust, strength and with the mind set of a conquerorand rejoice.
When my dad was at Econ nursing home (sep-dec last year), he had tomake frequent trips to the hospital for his checkup. The monthly expenses was high. About $3,000 per month. My brother couldn't really help becausehe was facing some financial difficulties. My sister couldn't help becauseshe is not working. So the "burden" falls on me. I became my mum's atmmachine and also her 24 hours call centre helpline.

I was feeling stressful at that time (so blinded, still can't have completefaith in God). In fact very stressful according to Jasmine, She said thatquite a number of nights, I actually woke up and sat by the bedside.

As you know, I am self-employed. I don't have a basic pay, no cpf, nomedical benefits. I pay my housing loan and other expenses all by cash. Inorder to meet the extra $3000 expense on top of my own monthly expenses, Ihave to make $150 more everyday (that is to bring in $70,000 more saleseveryday). Who would have $70,000 to invest everyday? Sounds impossible.To make things worst, during this period, I had to pay $5000 out of my ownpocket money for an error made.

Coming to work wasn't easy. I do not know how much I can make everyday. Iwas stressful when my phones weren't ringing. I was even more stressfulwhen my colleagues phones were ringing all day.

I met up with my cousin. He said that my financial burden was heavy. I was still feeling stressful, but somehow or rather, I do feel that God isseeing me through. I do not see it as a burden but I see it as a blessingfrom God that I can support my dad during these period. Even though it wasonly 4 months, I thank God that my dad had a wonderful time there. Heexercises every morning, plays mahjong (with one hand) in the afternoonand keeps himself busy talking to the guy next bed. My mum had a good restduring these 4 months. My wonderful wife was simply wonderful. She was fullof support for me. Instead of selfishly keeping all the money to ourselves,we used it purposefully. Thank God for all his financial blessings.

The doctor called my family 2 weeks ago. He told us that my dad could be indanger any moment. He wanted us to make a decision of whether to let himgo or to operate on him (to insert a tube into his throat to let himbreathe but it will be very painful and only temporary). It was a easydecision for me to make. To let my dad home with the Lord. What's more canI , a sinful man , ask for?

Mark HL

* Thank God for leading me and Jasmine to you wonderful gals. Thank you forhaving my dad in your prayers.