On my way to heaven, I stumbled upon this truth…there are three types of people in this world: the drifters, the copers and the overcomers. While the drifters don’t require much telling, the copers and the overcomers do. We must be careful to distinguish the two because many copers harbor this illusion that they are overcomers when, on all counts, they are sadly not. At times, the copers do appear to have some overcomers’ traits; but when crisis strikes, they cower. In fact, the most honest of the three is the drifters. Just a little info on this group. The drifters are obviously drifting through life with no purposive goals or any deliberate efforts to reach them.
The main problem with them is that they are oblivious to all things. They don’t capitalize on opportunity to change, they don’t desire to make a difference and they are resistant to calls for self-improvements. They are the archetypical procrastinators. They will delay to their death the things that urgently require their attention and reform. They often bring to their poorly attended grave the bad habits of life, the guilt of loss opportunities and all the accumulated misery in this world. All in all, the drifters are underachievers, mostly unappreciated, and hopelessly unfulfilled.
Of course they (drifters) are not all bad or negative. Drifters have strength just like copers but the problem with them is not the lack of strength. It is the lack of will power. They are aware that their lives are on a plateau and not going anywhere but they are too deep into their respective comfort zones to change their life scripts. The drifters’ and copers’ strength is in their self-awareness. They know what is needed to improve their life script. At most times, the copers even know how to go about making a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. Their weakness is their lack of will to change.
However, for the drifters, they are honest about it and admit to their unwillingness to do anything about their life. In some strange way, the drifters are proud of their lives. You can say that they are too easily satisfied with very low level of personal aspiration and contentment. The drifters generally have a “make-do” attitude in life. They make do with mediocrity. They make do with sinful living. They make do with aimless careering.
For copers, it is an attitude of “can do”. But there is nothing pro-active about this attitude. In its proper context, the copers “can do” almost everything except to take charge of their lives. As such, the copers are mostly at the beck and calls of their superiors. They are often the stepping stones of other people’s successes. They do whatever is asked of them by their bosses and the latter usually live their dreams at the expenses of the coper’s effort and time. As time passes, the copers cope with abuses and exploitation, however subtle they are, and learn to “get used to it”. You can say that they learn to accept their fate with strange nobility.
The copers are less honest with themselves. Their dishonesty is manifested in two ways. First, they sometimes live in denial and refuse to admit that their lives need to be changed or corrected. And this is one of the biggest obstacles to change or reform. You cannot change what you do not think need changing, however erroneously you hold to that frame of mind. The second manifestation of dishonesty is the most lethal of all. Earlier I said that the strength of copers is self-awareness. Basically, they are aware of the need to change. But there is a big difference between self-awareness and self-actualization. Again the lack of will power is glaringly obvious here.
I said before that the longest journey in life is the journey from the head to the heart. I know this fact personally. I sincerely believe that head knowledge is useless information. Yes, useless. No matter how much you boast about knowing, your knowing is just that – you know…so what? Knowing without applying is as good as loving without committing or promising without fulfilling. So, in the end, the copers deceive themselves. They can preach about changes but their life remains untouched by their own message. They do not walk the talk. They are victims of their circumstances not because they fail to know but because they fail to act.
Copers may cope well in life but that’s all they will ever do. They cope. As I write this, they are still coping. But the act of coping does not change their life script. Neither does it change the circumstances. More importantly, the act of coping does not change the character of the coper. If a metaphor helps, I see a coper as a person treading water. Of course, he does not drown. That’s one good thing about a coper’s life. He always stays afloat. But only barely. I once said that when you tread water you are not going anywhere. And this metaphor hammers home the point. Like a drifter, a coper is not going anywhere. He lives life one crisis at a time. He does not believe in “saving for a rainy day”. He does not gather food during the summer to prepare for the winter. He is a crisis manager, not crisis preventors. Crisis can be prevented and this is one truth copers hate to hear.
I have two friends who went down two different pathways in life. Although they started on equal footings with the same secondary school qualification, same strength in sports and same social and mental abilities, one kept improving himself with learning. He took courses to upgrade himself. He held a few degrees and remained gainfully employed in times of recession. The other led a coper’s life. He sought refuge in his comfort zone and did nothing to upgrade himself. He knew that one or two certificates would help but he had no time to hit the books. He rather “treads” on his current workplace than to “swim” out to unexplored territory. So, when retrenchment came, he got axed and remained unemployed for a longer time than he deserved. His finances dried up and his family suffered. Ultimately, he coped and managed to secure another job. But the lesson escapes him like water off a duck’s back. He remained as he was, a coper refusing to upgrade himself to increase his employability.
Now, let’s talk about the overcomers. Needlessly to say, overcomers are leaders of their private and public lives. They discover the secret of marrying their strength with will power. And O’ boy, what a marriage! They are both effective (doing the right thing) and efficient (doing things right). In fact, the main difference between a coper and an overcomer is personal resolve or will power. When Nike hollered “JUST DO IT”, the overcomers took it seriously. While the drifters have a “make-do” attitude and copers have a “can-do” attitude, the overcomers have a “just-do-it” spirit.
Besides having the will power, overcomers are committed to change. Unlike copers, the overcomers know why they must change. They are authors of their circumstances. They suffer no fools. They are always progressing, advancing closer to their purposive goals. They make a deliberate effort to change because stagnation scares the living daylight out of them. In fact, one saying describes well the three types of people I am writing about…unsuccessful people (drifters) focus their thinking on survival. Average people (copers) focus their thinking on maintenance. And successful people (overcomers) focus their thinking on progress.
Of course, overcomers are not perfect. They have their bad days too. They sometimes find themselves coping; at times, even drifting aimlessly. But because they are committed to change, they will eventually rise above mediocrity. One wise man once said, “One sure way to predict your future is to create it.” This is the mantra of overcomers. They create their future. They built on their strength and make every conscious waking choice to reach their goal by capitalizing on their strength. Basically, they find the one thing that they are good at and do nothing else. They are also patient farmers. They plant a few seeds and patiently nurture them to fruition – until all their efforts bear good fruits.
Finally, overcomers are powerful influencers. Their social circle of influence is ever-increasing. No one who is close to the overcomers can remain untouched for long. The change the overcomer is committed to is so powerful and real that it infects or inspires the people around him. Stories of overcomers always inspire hope. I have read a prostitute who once owned a brothel but she was subsequently converted one night. Upon her conversion, she turned her brothel into a rehab centre for young girls forced by their family into prostitution.
Have you heard of Dr Muhammad Yunus? He won the Nobel prize for peace recently. But his achievement is much more than what a prize can tally. He invented micro-credit to help millions of lost and abandoned women of Bangladesh. These women used the small loan provided by Dr Yunus’ Grameen bank to built businesses and earn a decent income for their family and children. Lending without collateral is a cardinal sin in the practice of banking. What compounds the problem is to lend to poor, uneducated women who have more than ten children to feed. However, what banks saw as credit risk, Dr Yunus saw as opportunity to transform lives and the society at large. He started to reimburse small loans to villagers, trusting that they would be good steward. Thirty years later, he now runs a multibillion dollar banking and business conglomerate and has helped 100 million people in his country out of poverty. Dr Yunus is a bona fide overcomer who has made a difference in the lives of millions!
So, there you have it, this world is made up of drifters, copers and overcomers. The challenge today is, who do you want to be? The truth is, we may start out as copers or even drifters. But please do not retire as either. Along life’s winding pathway, amidst the storm and high waters, God has given you the power of choice. Please use it wisely. Live an examined life. Discover your strength. Be committed to change. And make everyday a day of change and more importantly, progress. So, as you wake up tomorrow, keep this close to your heart, “Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.” – Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes.
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