On my way to heaven, I stumbled upon this truth…there are three types of people in this world: the drifters, the copers and the overcomers. While the drifters don’t require much telling, the copers and the overcomers do. We must be careful to distinguish the two because many copers harbor this illusion that they are overcomers when, on all counts, they are sadly not. At times, the copers do appear to have some overcomers’ traits; but when crisis strikes, they cower. In fact, the most honest of the three is the drifters. Just a little info on this group. The drifters are obviously drifting through life with no purposive goals or any deliberate efforts to reach them.
The main problem with them is that they are oblivious to all things. They don’t capitalize on opportunity to change, they don’t desire to make a difference and they are resistant to calls for self-improvements. They are the archetypical procrastinators. They will delay to their death the things that urgently require their attention and reform. They often bring to their poorly attended grave the bad habits of life, the guilt of loss opportunities and all the accumulated misery in this world. All in all, the drifters are underachievers, mostly unappreciated, and hopelessly unfulfilled.
Of course they (drifters) are not all bad or negative. Drifters have strength just like copers but the problem with them is not the lack of strength. It is the lack of will power. They are aware that their lives are on a plateau and not going anywhere but they are too deep into their respective comfort zones to change their life scripts. The drifters’ and copers’ strength is in their self-awareness. They know what is needed to improve their life script. At most times, the copers even know how to go about making a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. Their weakness is their lack of will to change.
However, for the drifters, they are honest about it and admit to their unwillingness to do anything about their life. In some strange way, the drifters are proud of their lives. You can say that they are too easily satisfied with very low level of personal aspiration and contentment. The drifters generally have a “make-do” attitude in life. They make do with mediocrity. They make do with sinful living. They make do with aimless careering.
For copers, it is an attitude of “can do”. But there is nothing pro-active about this attitude. In its proper context, the copers “can do” almost everything except to take charge of their lives. As such, the copers are mostly at the beck and calls of their superiors. They are often the stepping stones of other people’s successes. They do whatever is asked of them by their bosses and the latter usually live their dreams at the expenses of the coper’s effort and time. As time passes, the copers cope with abuses and exploitation, however subtle they are, and learn to “get used to it”. You can say that they learn to accept their fate with strange nobility.
The copers are less honest with themselves. Their dishonesty is manifested in two ways. First, they sometimes live in denial and refuse to admit that their lives need to be changed or corrected. And this is one of the biggest obstacles to change or reform. You cannot change what you do not think need changing, however erroneously you hold to that frame of mind. The second manifestation of dishonesty is the most lethal of all. Earlier I said that the strength of copers is self-awareness. Basically, they are aware of the need to change. But there is a big difference between self-awareness and self-actualization. Again the lack of will power is glaringly obvious here.
I said before that the longest journey in life is the journey from the head to the heart. I know this fact personally. I sincerely believe that head knowledge is useless information. Yes, useless. No matter how much you boast about knowing, your knowing is just that – you know…so what? Knowing without applying is as good as loving without committing or promising without fulfilling. So, in the end, the copers deceive themselves. They can preach about changes but their life remains untouched by their own message. They do not walk the talk. They are victims of their circumstances not because they fail to know but because they fail to act.
Copers may cope well in life but that’s all they will ever do. They cope. As I write this, they are still coping. But the act of coping does not change their life script. Neither does it change the circumstances. More importantly, the act of coping does not change the character of the coper. If a metaphor helps, I see a coper as a person treading water. Of course, he does not drown. That’s one good thing about a coper’s life. He always stays afloat. But only barely. I once said that when you tread water you are not going anywhere. And this metaphor hammers home the point. Like a drifter, a coper is not going anywhere. He lives life one crisis at a time. He does not believe in “saving for a rainy day”. He does not gather food during the summer to prepare for the winter. He is a crisis manager, not crisis preventors. Crisis can be prevented and this is one truth copers hate to hear.
I have two friends who went down two different pathways in life. Although they started on equal footings with the same secondary school qualification, same strength in sports and same social and mental abilities, one kept improving himself with learning. He took courses to upgrade himself. He held a few degrees and remained gainfully employed in times of recession. The other led a coper’s life. He sought refuge in his comfort zone and did nothing to upgrade himself. He knew that one or two certificates would help but he had no time to hit the books. He rather “treads” on his current workplace than to “swim” out to unexplored territory. So, when retrenchment came, he got axed and remained unemployed for a longer time than he deserved. His finances dried up and his family suffered. Ultimately, he coped and managed to secure another job. But the lesson escapes him like water off a duck’s back. He remained as he was, a coper refusing to upgrade himself to increase his employability.
Now, let’s talk about the overcomers. Needlessly to say, overcomers are leaders of their private and public lives. They discover the secret of marrying their strength with will power. And O’ boy, what a marriage! They are both effective (doing the right thing) and efficient (doing things right). In fact, the main difference between a coper and an overcomer is personal resolve or will power. When Nike hollered “JUST DO IT”, the overcomers took it seriously. While the drifters have a “make-do” attitude and copers have a “can-do” attitude, the overcomers have a “just-do-it” spirit.
Besides having the will power, overcomers are committed to change. Unlike copers, the overcomers know why they must change. They are authors of their circumstances. They suffer no fools. They are always progressing, advancing closer to their purposive goals. They make a deliberate effort to change because stagnation scares the living daylight out of them. In fact, one saying describes well the three types of people I am writing about…unsuccessful people (drifters) focus their thinking on survival. Average people (copers) focus their thinking on maintenance. And successful people (overcomers) focus their thinking on progress.
Of course, overcomers are not perfect. They have their bad days too. They sometimes find themselves coping; at times, even drifting aimlessly. But because they are committed to change, they will eventually rise above mediocrity. One wise man once said, “One sure way to predict your future is to create it.” This is the mantra of overcomers. They create their future. They built on their strength and make every conscious waking choice to reach their goal by capitalizing on their strength. Basically, they find the one thing that they are good at and do nothing else. They are also patient farmers. They plant a few seeds and patiently nurture them to fruition – until all their efforts bear good fruits.
Finally, overcomers are powerful influencers. Their social circle of influence is ever-increasing. No one who is close to the overcomers can remain untouched for long. The change the overcomer is committed to is so powerful and real that it infects or inspires the people around him. Stories of overcomers always inspire hope. I have read a prostitute who once owned a brothel but she was subsequently converted one night. Upon her conversion, she turned her brothel into a rehab centre for young girls forced by their family into prostitution.
Have you heard of Dr Muhammad Yunus? He won the Nobel prize for peace recently. But his achievement is much more than what a prize can tally. He invented micro-credit to help millions of lost and abandoned women of Bangladesh. These women used the small loan provided by Dr Yunus’ Grameen bank to built businesses and earn a decent income for their family and children. Lending without collateral is a cardinal sin in the practice of banking. What compounds the problem is to lend to poor, uneducated women who have more than ten children to feed. However, what banks saw as credit risk, Dr Yunus saw as opportunity to transform lives and the society at large. He started to reimburse small loans to villagers, trusting that they would be good steward. Thirty years later, he now runs a multibillion dollar banking and business conglomerate and has helped 100 million people in his country out of poverty. Dr Yunus is a bona fide overcomer who has made a difference in the lives of millions!
So, there you have it, this world is made up of drifters, copers and overcomers. The challenge today is, who do you want to be? The truth is, we may start out as copers or even drifters. But please do not retire as either. Along life’s winding pathway, amidst the storm and high waters, God has given you the power of choice. Please use it wisely. Live an examined life. Discover your strength. Be committed to change. And make everyday a day of change and more importantly, progress. So, as you wake up tomorrow, keep this close to your heart, “Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.” – Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Our life’s purpose is to prepare for eternity
This is the first of the What's so great series.
Written on 20 Oct 2007.
Yesterday’s cell group can be summed up as follows:
“Our life’s purpose is to prepare for eternity.”
This was taken from the interview with Rick Warren when he was asked, what is the purpose of life? Surely this must be the reason for our living. Life is just an interlude to the greatness that awaits us in the Glorious Beyond. It is the guarded and treasured hope that our life here and now is merely a pilgrim’s progress, a discovering itinerary, a taking-notes session, a resting sojourn for what lies ahead in eternity. So, don’t take things too hard.
Don’t let hang-ups hang you up. Don’t stay depress for too long. Don’t wallow in the low and never get up. It is all a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Of course, this is not a license to squander your life away. It is not a permit to waste or a reason for haste. It is not a call to apathy, slumber or laze.
I believe Rick Warren meant it to be empowering. Like all hope and promises in the Bible, it is a wellspring of motivation and passion. When applied in my life, I internalize this truth to mean that nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING is as grim and gloomy as it first hits you. There is always a way. Doors will always open when one or two are shut. A dead end is never, never dead or end.
Jesus has shown us how something so bad can turn out so good. How his horrific death can become such a lifeline for millions. How a sacrifice so gruesome and hopeless can be so glorious and hopeful. So, let’s prepare for eternity. Let’s take to heart that life’s challenges will never let up; but at the same time, our God will never give us up. Indeed, we were made by God and for God and in Him, we are complete. It will take time sometimes to internalize this truth and to allow it to make a difference in our life. But that difference, once consistently nurtured, will surely show up in our life. It will then become infectious, in a good way, and others will come to see Christ in us. Rick Warren calls it character building. He says, “God is more interested in our character than our comfort.”
Truly, we learn nothing or at least close to nothing, when we are sleeping in comfort, rolling in financial security, pampered by materialism and puff up by flattery, empty praises and sycophancy. I am not saying that we should not enjoy a little or live a little sometimes. But, can anyone tell me that a life of wealth and fortune will bring more wisdom and inspiration than a life that has just overcome crisis, failure and death? Since we cannot avoid the latter (crisis, failure and death), my philosophy is, Why not draw strength from God and let our character grow out of it?
Lastly, Rick Warren made these incisive remarks, “No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.” I learn two lessons here: Balance and thanksgiving. There is always a balance to be achieved in our life. It is the balance of blessings on one side and on the other, self-improvement. If our life is to prepare for eternity, we must make sure that we are ready for it.
How ready are you to give an account to God? How ready are you to hear those words ring in your ears? - “welcome my good and faithful servant, for whom I am well-pleased.” I believe that everything we do is contributing either to our progress or digress. We are either staying the course or straying from it. We cannot say that we are neither advancing nor retreating. There is no middle ground, no sitting on the fence and no resting on our laurels. I am a work in progress. Sometimes, I am a work in digress. But I am never a work without either. When I think I am not doing anything, I am surely digressing. When I think I have done enough, I am digressing. When I am self-satisfied, I am not improving.
Life is being something and not nothing. There must always be a continuous effort to improve. There is always sometime to be improved upon - something inside of us that requires polishing, pruning and perfecting. This is how our life can be kept “meaningfully busy” – a paradoxical discipline of character building and growing. The other lesson is thanksgiving. Counting our blessings is often quoted but seldom applied. We fight with our desires most of the time. We struggle with envy and striving and wrestle with high expectations and wishful thinking. Nothing is really enough for us. (I am speaking to those who experienced an internal conflict with contentment and insatiable appetites for fame, fortune and personal recognition – I know I have). Even for those who professed to be contented, there are times they blame themselves for not trying hard enough, feel the guilt of missed opportunities and compare bitterly their current station in life with those who are more materially endowed. This is a mental disease called “social comparison”. Gore Vidal once said, “When I hear of the success of my friends, something inside of me dies a little.”
Here is the antidote: Life is preparation for eternity. It really doesn’t matter that we are less materially endowed, less physically appealing, less circumstantially favored or less intellectually charismatic than the majority at large. All it really matters is that you and the 6-billion others share one common destiny – Eternity. And also one common designer of that eternity – God. I have learned that this life is not so much a showcase of what we own materially, what we have achieved academically or what we are born with physically. But it is, much more importantly, about our relationships with our loved ones and our Creator. And you cannot be any more democratic when it comes to relationship building.
What I mean is that we all stand on equal footing when building relationship is concerned. No one is more endowed, more qualified or more equipped when he or she is called to sow, develop and nurture relationships. We cannot say that the pretty or rich can do it better. Relationship is an individual responsibility with individual accountability – especially our relationship with God. God is no respecter of persons. So, the rich or poor, the good lookers or otherwise or the slim or cholesterolly-challenged, all come to God on equal terms. And a good, enduring relationship is the greatest blessing of all, far exceeding riches, fame and power.
So, wherever you are in life, whatever your status, treasure and build your relationships, in particular the one you have with God, because in the end, what truly counts in this life and the life to come, is the relationships we have sowed and nurtured along the way.
Michael Han
20 Oct 2007
Written on 20 Oct 2007.
Yesterday’s cell group can be summed up as follows:
“Our life’s purpose is to prepare for eternity.”
This was taken from the interview with Rick Warren when he was asked, what is the purpose of life? Surely this must be the reason for our living. Life is just an interlude to the greatness that awaits us in the Glorious Beyond. It is the guarded and treasured hope that our life here and now is merely a pilgrim’s progress, a discovering itinerary, a taking-notes session, a resting sojourn for what lies ahead in eternity. So, don’t take things too hard.
Don’t let hang-ups hang you up. Don’t stay depress for too long. Don’t wallow in the low and never get up. It is all a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Of course, this is not a license to squander your life away. It is not a permit to waste or a reason for haste. It is not a call to apathy, slumber or laze.
I believe Rick Warren meant it to be empowering. Like all hope and promises in the Bible, it is a wellspring of motivation and passion. When applied in my life, I internalize this truth to mean that nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING is as grim and gloomy as it first hits you. There is always a way. Doors will always open when one or two are shut. A dead end is never, never dead or end.
Jesus has shown us how something so bad can turn out so good. How his horrific death can become such a lifeline for millions. How a sacrifice so gruesome and hopeless can be so glorious and hopeful. So, let’s prepare for eternity. Let’s take to heart that life’s challenges will never let up; but at the same time, our God will never give us up. Indeed, we were made by God and for God and in Him, we are complete. It will take time sometimes to internalize this truth and to allow it to make a difference in our life. But that difference, once consistently nurtured, will surely show up in our life. It will then become infectious, in a good way, and others will come to see Christ in us. Rick Warren calls it character building. He says, “God is more interested in our character than our comfort.”
Truly, we learn nothing or at least close to nothing, when we are sleeping in comfort, rolling in financial security, pampered by materialism and puff up by flattery, empty praises and sycophancy. I am not saying that we should not enjoy a little or live a little sometimes. But, can anyone tell me that a life of wealth and fortune will bring more wisdom and inspiration than a life that has just overcome crisis, failure and death? Since we cannot avoid the latter (crisis, failure and death), my philosophy is, Why not draw strength from God and let our character grow out of it?
Lastly, Rick Warren made these incisive remarks, “No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.” I learn two lessons here: Balance and thanksgiving. There is always a balance to be achieved in our life. It is the balance of blessings on one side and on the other, self-improvement. If our life is to prepare for eternity, we must make sure that we are ready for it.
How ready are you to give an account to God? How ready are you to hear those words ring in your ears? - “welcome my good and faithful servant, for whom I am well-pleased.” I believe that everything we do is contributing either to our progress or digress. We are either staying the course or straying from it. We cannot say that we are neither advancing nor retreating. There is no middle ground, no sitting on the fence and no resting on our laurels. I am a work in progress. Sometimes, I am a work in digress. But I am never a work without either. When I think I am not doing anything, I am surely digressing. When I think I have done enough, I am digressing. When I am self-satisfied, I am not improving.
Life is being something and not nothing. There must always be a continuous effort to improve. There is always sometime to be improved upon - something inside of us that requires polishing, pruning and perfecting. This is how our life can be kept “meaningfully busy” – a paradoxical discipline of character building and growing. The other lesson is thanksgiving. Counting our blessings is often quoted but seldom applied. We fight with our desires most of the time. We struggle with envy and striving and wrestle with high expectations and wishful thinking. Nothing is really enough for us. (I am speaking to those who experienced an internal conflict with contentment and insatiable appetites for fame, fortune and personal recognition – I know I have). Even for those who professed to be contented, there are times they blame themselves for not trying hard enough, feel the guilt of missed opportunities and compare bitterly their current station in life with those who are more materially endowed. This is a mental disease called “social comparison”. Gore Vidal once said, “When I hear of the success of my friends, something inside of me dies a little.”
Here is the antidote: Life is preparation for eternity. It really doesn’t matter that we are less materially endowed, less physically appealing, less circumstantially favored or less intellectually charismatic than the majority at large. All it really matters is that you and the 6-billion others share one common destiny – Eternity. And also one common designer of that eternity – God. I have learned that this life is not so much a showcase of what we own materially, what we have achieved academically or what we are born with physically. But it is, much more importantly, about our relationships with our loved ones and our Creator. And you cannot be any more democratic when it comes to relationship building.
What I mean is that we all stand on equal footing when building relationship is concerned. No one is more endowed, more qualified or more equipped when he or she is called to sow, develop and nurture relationships. We cannot say that the pretty or rich can do it better. Relationship is an individual responsibility with individual accountability – especially our relationship with God. God is no respecter of persons. So, the rich or poor, the good lookers or otherwise or the slim or cholesterolly-challenged, all come to God on equal terms. And a good, enduring relationship is the greatest blessing of all, far exceeding riches, fame and power.
So, wherever you are in life, whatever your status, treasure and build your relationships, in particular the one you have with God, because in the end, what truly counts in this life and the life to come, is the relationships we have sowed and nurtured along the way.
Michael Han
20 Oct 2007
Memory verses for the Children
Hi parents,
For those of you who want a list of memory verses that the kids have been doing, here they are :
1. Let Jesus rule in your hearts. (Colossians 3:15)
2. Let not your hands be idle. (Ecclesiastes 11:6)
3. How beautiful are the feet of them who bring good news! (Romans 10:15)
4. Sing to the Lord. (Exodus 15:21)
5. I lift up my eyes to you. (Psalm 123:1)
6. The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it. (Psalm 24:1)
7. You will be my sons and daughters. (2 Corinthians 6:18)
I have not started to get them to memorize where the verses come from yet. Will be adding that slowly soon.
For those of you who want a list of memory verses that the kids have been doing, here they are :
1. Let Jesus rule in your hearts. (Colossians 3:15)
2. Let not your hands be idle. (Ecclesiastes 11:6)
3. How beautiful are the feet of them who bring good news! (Romans 10:15)
4. Sing to the Lord. (Exodus 15:21)
5. I lift up my eyes to you. (Psalm 123:1)
6. The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it. (Psalm 24:1)
7. You will be my sons and daughters. (2 Corinthians 6:18)
I have not started to get them to memorize where the verses come from yet. Will be adding that slowly soon.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Getting Started!
Hi everyone,
Mike was wondering out loud today if we should start a cellgroup webpage.
So, I decided to start a blog so that he can share his ideas, and we can invite our friends to read this blog when we have something interesting posted.
Updates will be periodic, and also if possible, I will be putting up some photographs of the cell members.
This is also a good way to introduce ourselves to any newcomers that we might have.
In the meantime, have a great weekend, and look out for new posts!!
Mike was wondering out loud today if we should start a cellgroup webpage.
So, I decided to start a blog so that he can share his ideas, and we can invite our friends to read this blog when we have something interesting posted.
Updates will be periodic, and also if possible, I will be putting up some photographs of the cell members.
This is also a good way to introduce ourselves to any newcomers that we might have.
In the meantime, have a great weekend, and look out for new posts!!
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